Home With 2 Girls

State of our Union?

2011-01-26T19:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. Obama,

I may have been a bit snarky with my Facebook status update while watching you deliver the State of the Union last night. I can't apologize for it, so let me explain it.

I live in New York. This is a place that costs more to live than pretty much anywhere else in the world. We deal with the aftermath of 9/11 everyday, we continue to bear the brunt of the Wall Street bailout but as a state must metaphorically max out our credit cards to keep up appearances. The world can't see New York drooping.

But we are. Right now we have a State government, which hasn't balanced a budget on time in a good decade, trying to balance a county budget that even the most tight-fisted, coupon cutting housewife couldn't do. We've put taxes back on things like clothing, increased taxes anywhere imaginable, even considered an Obesity Tax for beverages.

The answer to the State fiscal crisis is to cut spending in EDUCATION. You encouraged the country to become teachers, we have so many unemployed teachers, and more to come, that we could fill the country's job openings. But no one here can move to fill them because selling a home is next to impossible.

Right now there are plans to cut SPECIAL EDUCATION budgets - because it's not bad enough to cut the arts and sports and kindergarten to half day, while superintendents make 6 figures. It's horrific that "regular" kids get crammed 40 in a classroom in schools that are falling apart, but we take from our neediest children to fill the coffers of a few. The special education program gives children like my daughter a chance to thrive.

You discussed upgrading our trains and public transportation. We have a public transportation system that is not worth using. You see from where I am on Long Island, I have to drive 20 minutes to the train station, wait for a train, and be on said train for 90 minutes to get into Manhattan. I can drive in and pay for parking for less money and less time, even including the $10 toll and crazy parking prices. I also get charged by the public transportation system for my car, a Ford by the way, which I must use because I live 20 minutes from the train. Oh, not the most local train, that's a mile away, but if I took it I'd get stranded because the train doesn't run regularly out my way - a mere 60 miles outside of New York City.

I think it's wonderful you're paying attention to Colorado and Wisconsin. But right now, living in New York, I don't feel like my daughters are getting the same opportunities as other daughters in this country, much less the sons. So when I laugh at your proposals, and question the likelihood of there success, it's not that I don't like what you're saying, I just don't believe I'll see it in my lifetime - and I'm 35.

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-03T10:13:00.008-05:00

Every year my husband asks what my New Year's Resolution will be. Last year I swore I would get myself better. This year is to finish that promise. But also with that is a pledge to do more for myself.

I need to exercise more - duh. I need to eat better - double duh. Who doesn't.

Here's my list of why I wasn't successful. I had two babies in two years, my body was ripped apart. I had post partum depression and the side effects of antidepressants for 5 years. I had some pretty nasty stuff going on in my body last year that messed with everything.

Here's what I think I need to do - I need to get my ass moving and exercise. (It's kind of hard to get motivated when you are getting just a few hours of sleep a night and feel like crap in general.) But I also plan to see a nutritionist because for years in my memory, even when I was young and skinny, I had problems, I wouldn't say with eating cause I enjoy that, but with how my body reacts to food. And how my body reacts to hormones that changes how my body reacts to food. I am aware my overall system is broken, why or how to fix it is to be determined.

I need to do more things that I enjoy. Like writing my blog. I have been sorely neglecting my masterpiece. In my defense the state I was in most of last year, and things happening that would have made my blog a bitch fest vs an attempt to be insightful, which would have been totally unacceptable.

I need to get a life - aka find a babysitter and escape a lot more often.

I want to master my sewing machine, and finally start learning how to quilt.

It's going to be a long process, this I know. But for the first time in my life last year I kept my New Year's Resolution, and I plan to keep up that success this year and in years to come.

Post Surgery Wellness

2010-12-01T12:35:00.036-05:00

So about a month after my full confession to you things started getting strange again for me. I was still taking the antidepressants that had literally held me together for 10 months, but I was starting to sleep again. OK, I was sleeping like Rip Van Winkle for a couple months. Life was feeling good again, I was catching up on all the things I had neglected over the year, and I was happy.

Then some very strange things started happening. I was slurring words, my walk was unsteady, things of that nature. It was mild at first, so I didn't think anything of it, again it was a rough year, this was nothing.

Then one day I was speaking to a friend on the phone and she asked if I was OK, I sounded like I was drunk. No, I wasn't feeling well, I felt like I was slurring, but thought it was just in my own head, which had been in slow motion for days. So I started paying attention. I took my meds as usual when I woke up and the sluggish feeling and slurring started again, that by noon it was obvious something was up. I had a good night's sleep, no other illness, and just took the antidepressants that morning. I called my friend who confirmed I sounded as bad as the day before. Then I called the doctor.

I NEVER call the doctor. I google things, I complain, I'll make an appointment, but NEVER call for immediate help. That's how bad things were going. Let me tell you I adore my doctor. Through the year she has not judged, she listens and supported my commentary and trials of natural products. She said to cut my meds in half, the nature of the drug would lead to withdrawal and I would see her Tuesday (we hit a weekend).

So the next day, Friday, I cut the pill in half and hoped for the best. Not good news, I was as bad as the day before on full strength. And the dose I was on was the minimum, so we're not talking a lot of a drug.

The next morning I conferred with my husband and despite the possibility of withdrawal problems, decided not to take the meds at all. We both figured worse case I took it a few hours late.

I went out with my step-mother-in-law, with the kids, giving her a heads up as to what was going on. By the end of the day, with two tired, super-cranky kids, I was doing fine.

Day 3 off the meds I saw the doctor. All was well, my blood pressure was the lowest it had been in years, everything else was normal. I got a flu shot.

In the next few weeks the irritability that came with the anxiety and depression got bad, I went to the vitamin shop and got some Kava Kava, took for a week and on and off since then, eliminating the need for xanex during the day.

So now I'm anti-depressant free for 3 months, fully functioning with an occasional case of PMS. But I am still left wondering what if I hadn't trusted myself and everything leading up to and including the surgery hadn't happened?

Trust Your Gut

2010-09-02T09:19:00.000-05:00

I've been playing with writing this for months now, I didn't want to air my female issues like a blathering idiot with no good reason. Post-surgery I have my reason. Guys, you might want to skip this one.

It started last July, on and off weight gain with no explanation. Then December it actually got worse, I wasn't feeling well, my husband and I were on the verge of taking a pregnancy test. Very scary when one has had an IUD in for 2 1/2 years. We didn't need one, I lost a bunch of weight things were going okay.

Except I had this odd nagging feeling about taking the IUD out. And I kept gaining weight around my middle. I spoke with my primary care doctor about it who agreed it was strange, but also made a couple decrees about my diet. Which I am still following.

My gut instincts won out and I made the appointment to get the IUD removed. It's a 2-second procedure, no pain, no fuss.

And then the bleeding started, and the light-headedness, and the trip to the ER because I fainted. All through this I'm getting slack for taking out a "successful" form of birth control, I upset my system, etc, etc. But no one had an answer as to why I bled like a stuck pig for two weeks when with an IUD there is no lining to shed. My hormones were a mess, exhaustion, hot flashes, acne, you name it anywhere between adolecence and menopause, I got hit with it. Three sonograms and two hystosonograms later (my insurance company hates me right now) they found a polyp in my uterus.

And I kept wondering what would have happened if I hadn't trusted myself and made the decision I did.

Fast forward to this past Monday when I had surgery to remove the polyp. The doctor took some really nice pictures of my insides to make sure of what he was going in for and found the fibroid that had been tucked into my uterine wall successfully through two pregnancies was hanging off my uterus.

I am recovering now from a more invasive procedure than anticipated, still wondering what would have happened to me if I hadn't trusted my gut?

A conversation with Grandpa

2010-03-26T08:10:00.002-05:00

The weather today is crummy, rainy and cold.

I'm trying to decide what to grow in my garden this year - I hope we get more sun so my tomatoes grow. I'm doing the usual lettuce, cukes, beans...I might try some spinach this year.

Carl's enjoying his new job. He's writing again, which makes him happy.

The girls are huge, I don't understand why they won't stop growing. Kindergarden in the fall for Charlotte. She's talking so much more, but she's still so shy. Catie never stops talking - yup, just like Mom.

I'm not promising [to behave], but I will try.

Happy birthday Grandpa. I love you and miss you.

*********************************************

Today would have been my Grandpa's 87th birthday.

Baseball season has commenced, he lived his entire life without seeing the Cubs win a World Series, so maybe, just maybe, they'll pull it off this year. When I tell you I was born a Cubs fan, Grandpa started the legacy.

He had the most amazing garden every year. It was half the size of mine and grew 75% more. Grandpa donated the abundance to neighbors and the neighborhood community center.

That's how people knew him, he was the first one out there to help. He volunteered on election day. He had the biggest heart.

And for those of you who know my politics, you'll laugh that he was a conservative republican who watched FOX news religiously. So when you say to me, how can a liberal democrat think that? - now you know where I learned it.

What I miss the very most, what I could use right now, are his hugs. The biggest and gentlest bear hugs available, that surrounded you with love and protection.

A different kind of depression?

2010-01-14T09:39:00.007-05:00

So I guess Post Partum Depression doesn't qualify anymore, since my youngest turns 3 in two months. But I knew that last year and it scared me. I started on antidepressants a couple months after Catie was born in 2007, as I started experiencing the same symptoms I had after having Charlotte. (I had PPD after both girls) I was proud of myself, I saw the problem before anyone else did and got help fast. In the past few years I've changed drugs, upped my dose, decreased my dose, went off the meds but I still wasn't myself.

And I'm not talking about being a cheerful, outgoing person. The external expectations, whether I smiled enough, etc, didn't matter much because I can fake a smile in a heartbeat. It is all in my head, the lack of desire to get out of bed, the way I pay attention, but not really, the yo-yo effect of dieting, at some point I simply figured these things were like the stretch marks I earned and the residual back pain that I have from carrying two babies in two years. I was trying to learn to accept me.

The problem with trying to just be okay with being me was the anxiety. The tension that would build until I would snap. I was good at walking away, but it didn't make it easier for me to deal with. Everything and nothing would set me off. Stupid things like not being able to put a cap on a bottle could set things off. It's not fun.

And of course the issues coming at me from the outside didn't help. Having a family and trying to fix yourself definitely do not go hand-in-hand. Being a stay-at-home mom, for me, doesn't offer much job satisfaction. Dealing with everyone else's problems 24/7 wears you down. There is rarely quiet time.

The biggest issue was being frustrated with my husband for not taking care of himself. Always cranky from being in pain from his spinal fusion it drove me insane that he refused to go to the doctor for a prescription. Months would go by and all he did was complain. But it seemed it was always my fault, my issues that caused the fights, my fault for snapping for no good reason. At least I was trying to get help, I was medicated and fighting hard. At some point you stop liking a person when you feel like you are being scrutinized. And it got to the point where I considered leaving him, more than once.

The next big one was Charlotte and handling her delays. The judgement from all around about how I was or wasn't handling things, the doubts I had, the questioning myself, feeling like I had failed her somehow never helped my mental state. Catie's reflux, the constant crying, throwing up and being on my own with her for 10-12 hours a day, on top of trying to handle a toddler who couldn't talk almost broke me.

I am very upfront about what is going on, you'll see in previous blog posts I've talked about many of these issues. And I hope it helps friends and family understand. I don't want to sound like I was left hanging out to dry all on my own - I have help and support, but you also need to be able to lean, my problem is I prefer to hide. I've gotten better, with my husband I can say I'm not feeling well today and more often than not, he understands what I mean, and ups his effort with the girls and around the house. Last month, in the midst of a major funk, he sent me a bouquet of flowers. My sister, my mom and friends call just to check in and sometimes just listening helps. Sometimes just talking about nothing when I can't escape things can make my day.

A couple months ago, after my latest dieting failure, I gave up trying to get down to a weight I thought would get me less lecturing and went for a physical - my first in many, many years. I hunted up a doctor from my provider list, one who claimed to specialize in women's issues. I met with her, and really, really liked her - she was a psychologist before becoming a DO. She suggested a new medication and asked me to look into it instead of just prescribing it. I had my blood work done and went back. My cholesterol is not good - not that it ever has been, thanks grandma! But what also came out of my blood work was that my thyroid function is diminishing. So I'm on cholesterol meds, and a thyroid vitamin supplement - because the doctor said my numbers aren't bad enough to warrant a medication that will mess with my system. But she also changed my antidepressant. It was a ten day switch over, and the difference was almost immediate. The insomnia is gone, so far the anxiety is too. All the little things that I had thought I would have to deal with forever are coming under control. I am writing today after months of writer's block.

So what's the official word? Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder(PMDD) and hypothyroidism.

As for my husband, well, he had surgery over the summer, the second on his back and is a totally new person. I am falling in love with him all over again and it's wonderful.

I'm not going to tell you a new medication is all it took, but it's making things easier for me. While there is still some internal fight every day, for the first time in over a year I'm looking forward to things, planning for life instead of just stumbling through it. And I'm smiling, because I want to, not because I'm expected to.

Potty Training Secrets Revealed

2009-10-14T10:59:00.002-05:00

Not really. Sorry, I've got none. I totally suck at potty training. I have no patience to sit much more than 15 minutes in the bathroom. I get distracted and forget to ask if the girls have to go. Of course it doesn't help when you're faced with serious resistance.

Charlotte was a hard case, she was hit or miss when you got her on the potty. She has less of an ability to sit than I do, so there were no bribes to get her to stay put. I tried chocolate, gifts and finally a potty chart. When she finally did complete it she did get gifts, really nice ones from her grandmothers who spent as much time, if not more, sitting on the bathroom floor with her than I did. She actually stayed put for them, she wanted to make them happy. But there was never consistency.

I have my excuses - some really good ones. She didn't walk till she was 18 months, her sister was born when she was 20 months and I had a rough pregnancy. Then Catie had her reflux issues. Just a litany of things that made things harder.

When she was accepted into the special ed program they of course asked if she was trained. I had to say no. Charlotte was 3 at the time. It took them a good 5 months to keep her dry, which made me feel a little better about my failure. By Christmas she was in panties full time. She regressed a tad for overnight, then one day told me she was done with pull ups and that was that.

In light of my failure with Charlotte I swore Catie would be different. Then I met Catie. The obstinate little bugger wanted no part in potty training. The problem we had was that she was smart enough to know better. She started telling me she needed to be changed, specifically telling me that she peed. But she never went on the potty. Charlotte even sat with her a few times 'reading' to her. But as soon as the pull up was back on she went. We knew she had the control she needed, just not the desire.

This past June I decided with the nice weather coming we would stay outside in panties, saving my carpets. So much for nice weather potty training. We kept pushing, she started screaming. Literally hysterics at the suggestion of going on the potty. September rolled around and I was completely fed up with buying diapers. I kept pushing. Charlotte taunted her sister by calling her a baby cause she was still in diapers - and I let her do it. Then one day I was sitting with her and suggested she try to do on the potty what she did in her diaper. And that was it. She got it. Peed right then and there.

Two weeks later, present day, she is in panties during the day, diapers at night. She has done three hour plus outings in pull ups staying totally dry, even asking to go potty. We're having some issues pooping - she will neither go in a pull up or the potty - but I expect the progress to continue. Catie's 2 1/2, so I don't consider her a success story, I'm simply relieved that she's going on the potty. And of course thrilled with the money we're saving on diapers and pull ups!

So no, I don't have advice for others potty training. The best I can do is say to hang in there, eventually something will click and you'll be as thrilled as we are now.

Parents are IDIOTS.

2009-09-11T07:02:00.004-05:00

Once again I have remembered why I have been actively avoiding the speech-delay boards on my favorite parenting website, babycenter.com. Parents are IDIOTS.

It started a good 6 months ago when I responded to a parent who knew her 3-year-old had a delay - her doctor told her when he was 18 months to have him tested - but she hadn't gotten around to having any testing done because she and her husband work long hours. Plus, she figured the Spanish-speaking nanny wasn't helping his cause. I wasn't very nice. I told her she was irresponsible and that the amount of progress her child had lost could be insurmountable. And that the time she needs to take now is significantly more than she would have before, with the extra testing that needed to be done. She wrote back that it had nothing to do with taking time off of work, that wasn't an issue, she just thought it'd get better on it's own.

Checking my inbox today I scanned the list of posts to boards I am signed up for and saw a headline about a 4-year-old with speech delays so I clicked on it - I figured we're in similar situations. HAH! She's been working with her child on her own - never tested hearing or had an evaluation done or anything. And is actively planning on waiting longer since her child has a late birthday and two more years till kindergarten. I have not and will not respond to this, my blood is totally boiling.

I stopped going to my March 2007 board for a while when speech delays were the rage. If one more person said, oh, just wait, your little one will catch up, outgrow, etc, etc I would have gone mental. Because with Charlotte all I kept hearing was Einstein didn't talk until he was 3. Not every child is Einstein, so what happens in 6 months when they don't catch up. You've lost 6 months which in baby-time is huge.

If you're not aware I fought like crazy to get Charlotte help with her speech, being turned down twice for early intervention, approved the third time because her other skills were falling behind because of her lack of speech. Last July, Charlotte was turning 3, she only spoke 20 words. Fearful she wouldn't get into the special education preschool we had an outside advocate lined up. In the end we went on our own and it went well. We asked for summer session, got summer session, once in school she had OT and PT evaluations, qualified for OT and has made tremendous progress there. We are actively in touch with teachers and therapists. After a year in school she no longer qualified for the special classroom setting, she is working on 3 syllable words and talking in complete sentences. With the recommendation from a developmental pediatrician in hand, plus our own story, we explained why Charlotte needed to stay in the special ed classroom - and we were approved.

Add our past experiences to my own experience yesterday at another CPSE meeting for Charlotte it's simple to see why I get so frustrated. Yesterday's meeting was a basic one, just switching a pull-in occupational therapy session to a pull-out, based on superb progress over the summer doing two one-on-one sessions a week. The meeting took all of 5 minutes, mostly to sign the attendance sheet. Even her classroom teacher, who met me for the first time yesterday, was surprised how fast it went. As we were walking out she relayed that Charlotte's OT had told her not to worry about not knowing Charlotte well, that I was a great advocate and knew what to do.

One of the best parts for me was at the end when the special ed teacher in attendance, who had not met us yet, said good bye to Catie thinking she was Charlotte. I figure it's because of Catie saying "please may I have a cookie" and refusing to leave because she had to finish said cookie. Well the program director and two other regular board members were quick to say, that's Catie, the younger sister, she's 2. That's how well they know us. I have never missed a meeting, which are not mandatory for us to attend. Even my husband's attendance to the annual ones brings attention to us since it's rare for both parents to take the time.

I don't know, maybe if the entire process had been easier we wouldn't fight so hard. I am aware I have an advantage being a stay-at-home mom. But good enough doesn't really work for me when it comes to my kids. I still think I can do better, so when I read these messages from parents who are flippant with the welfare of their children I just want to shake them silly.

So why do I stay signed up? Because I know for a fact that sharing my experiences has helped other people. The grandma who was fighting with her daughter to get help told a story that mimicked Charlotte's. I was able to tell her I was on my third pediatrician because no one knew anything and had been to a developmental pediatrician for specialized support. I was able to direct her to my favorite book on apraxia. The number of people who ask how you knew if your child was delayed that I shared the link to the ASHA website is even enough. My advice was applauded by a speech therapist who frequents the board to offer help, that was an amazing feeling. But aside from patting myself on the back, for me, the support I get from some of the boards is amazing. So usually after yelling at my computer I move on to someone and something else - even if it's just tonight's dinner.

The President in Prime Time

2009-09-03T07:57:00.004-05:00

When Barack Obama promised transparency in government no way did I think it would mean giving up so many entire evenings. Obama's plan to speak to the US this coming Wednesday about his health care plan just plain sucks. Wanna know why a hard-core Obama supporter thinks so?

1. If we don't get it yet, he's doing a horrible job presenting it. One night isn't going to make a difference. With the vote coming up people should know what is happening and why it's happening, not be more confused than ever. The other concern is if Congress doesn't get it yet, why the hell would average Americans who don't have it written in front of them?

2. We're tired. I will applaud Bush for one tiny thing - giving me an hour to relax, get the kids in bed and grab some ice cream before I got to yell at the TV at 9pm. This 8pm thing Obama does doesn't work. If I didn't have a DVR I would miss it simply because 8pm is bath and bedtime. Isn't he an involved dad? Shouldn't he know better?

3. School's starting. For us it's the first day back to school, for many others out here it's the second day of school. You're talking a slew of teachers, students and parents who really don't give a shit what he's saying because we're barely conscious. Which brings me back to if we understood it, this would be a hell of a lot easier.

4. 8pm. I'm sorry this really sticks in my craw. I had 8 years of a president that I heckled instead of listened to, but at least he didn't ruin the WHOLE night. Because once you have your speech, you have hours upon hours of commentary (useless crap, BTW) so it's a 3-4 hour debacle which doesn't give you any down time. And God forbid there's actually something to watch on HBO.

5. Recreation. We can't afford to go to the movies, much less rent them, stop messing with the TV programming. Last time it was Idol, next week may or may not be So You Think You Can Dance, WTF did I do to you?!?!

6. Back to the 8pm. Why are they killing revenue for TV stations for a whole night - $30 million already, do you have any idea how many JOBS that is?? Cause jobs are something we're sorely lacking in right now. I would love to know how many people got laid off because of budget cuts around the last grouping of press conferences.

So to summarize, 8pm on a school night when decent TV is just starting again, talking about a subject that no one understands, few agree on and even more are terrified of, really isn't the smartest idea out there.

Is it ok...

2009-06-30T19:24:00.004-05:00

for married people to have crushes?? And I don't mean celebrity, if I had a chance in hell type crushes, just the average run of the mill, person on the street sort.

My husband and I are in agreement, so that's good. We both think it's OK, that basically it's human nature and just because you're married doesn't mean you're all dried up. You'd be surprised how nonplussed he was after the numerous times I told him I was leaving him for Adam Lambert - and I knew he was gay before my hubby did.

However, I do wonder if part of our being OK has to do with being with each other from such young ages (18 & 20). It's kind of hard to be that young and not have some sort of something at some point. Also, we, well I am at least, tend to be pretty open about opinions of people. For instance, I have no problem telling my husband I think another guy (girls too, sometimes) is hot. He laughs at me. The fact he's particularly self confident (a characteristic of his that was a huge turn-off at the beginning), added to the fact he's the exact opposite of my taste in men, so I'm not exactly looking at guys similar to him, he takes no issue.

Same thing with generalized flirting. We again agree that it's healthy, normal human behavior. It's not like either of us out there going ooh, he's or she's hot, let me try flirting - THAT would be WRONG.

And it's not that either of us is that liberal with our relationship definitions. I believe the phrase "I'd have to kill you" has come into play when more serious scenarios have been discussed. Anything PHYSICAL is way, way, WAY out of bounds. Lying too, is on the no list. Of course he can't lie for anything and I can't not tell him things, so that helps. Maybe it also helps that we have defined boundaries in place and know what we expect of each other.

So I want to know - are YOU okay with crushes and/or flirting or NOT and why or WHY NOT????

A Farm Away From Home

2009-06-05T12:48:00.008-05:00

It's that time of year again. Our local CSA pick-ups have begun. What's a CSA, you ask? Community Supported Agriculture.

What it means to me is a 1/2 hour ride out east once a week to pick up freshly picked organic produce. We start with lettuces and other green leafy items, move onto things like cucumbers, carrots, beans, zucchini, etc, then go to things like potatoes - red, white, blue and sweet. You can't forget about tomatoes and ground cherries and fresh herbs and flowers. Best of all freshly dried garlic in so many varieties. (I should tell you every CSA is different in what they offer.)

I found Phil Barbados and his farm Biophilia last year online at www.localharvest.org/csa. What got me curious about CSA farms was a post on my favorite parenting site, http://www.babycenter.com/.

While I whole-heartedly disagreed with this particular mom's views on vaccinations, her commentary on her lifestyle led me to wonder what our local farms on Long Island had to offer. I Googled CSA and found Local Harvest. Their site is impressive and easy to use, but best of all, it led me to Phil.

We started with Phil last summer not sure what to expect and he quickly rocked our world. What he produces is phenomenal both in quality and variety. Phil's passion for farming is only surpassed by the love he has for his family. That shines through in everything he does. I almost cried at the end of last season at the idea of my weekly treks to the farm over for 6 months, leaving me to rely on grocery store produce.

The best thing about Biophilia and Phil, aside from the wonderful produce, is the way he makes his farm feel like home. He is a very warm and inviting person, always willing to talk shop. Membership to his CSA isn't just about a weekly pick-up, it's a summer-long experience with tastings, picking days and potlucks. He takes tremendous pride in what he does, even fretting last year that he was responsible feeding so many local families.

In the weekly e-mail newsletter he keeps us up to date with goings on - what's being planted, transplanted, harvested, when his dad visits, problems with local wildlife and so on. He also adds recipes to help us use what he has given us that week. As an added bonus, he keeps us up to date with other adventures in organic farming that go on over the summer. The extra time and effort it takes to create and send an update is just more proof of how very dedicated he is.

On top of stopping at Biophilia every week, the girls and I enjoy popping into any one of the multitude of farm stands on Rt. 25. It's our weekly excursion together and this year, since they're older, I hope to make more of our weekly journey. This year, they understand what I mean when I tell them we're going to the farm.

At the end of our journey the best thing of all for them is that the ride home usually involves munching on fruits or fresh baked goodies that we've picked up on our way.

Standing Ovation for our Teachers - Tepid Applause for Newsday

2009-04-21T13:44:00.005-05:00

While John Hildebrand is usually disdainful of teachers as a whole and Newsday isn't worth the paper it's printed on, this particular commentary from Mr. Hildebrand in Newsday today is heart-warming. It is not only positive towards teachers but towards the William Floyd School District, something our area needs after the NYT's smear campaign. Thank you to them and to our local teachers and teachers union.

If you don't feel like reading it, what you should know is Wm Floyd teachers have re-negotiated their contract down 1% for this year to help keep jobs and programs for our children. What they get in return is an extension on their current contract for one additional year guaranteeing them a 2.5% increase for the 2010-2011 school year.

The almost 2% hike in our property taxes is going to hurt like hell, especially on top of Gov Paterson cancelling STAR rebates. To be clear on how little money there is to work with, "The district's property and income wealth is less than half the state average." (Newsday)

When I said people in our area have heart, this is what I referred to.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/ny-liteac2212677876apr21,0,7595152.story

Slums of Long Island? Not really.

2009-04-16T14:36:00.005-05:00

It's been a nagging thought in the back of my mind since my husband found the article two Sundays ago. The NYT published a story about how horrible Mastic, Mastic Beach and Shirley are. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/realestate/05livi.html

Let me just tell you that in 7 years we haven't found our end of town to be like this. We live in what they call the Tangiers section of Shirley. We are within a 1/2 of our elementary school, while we get weekly and at times twice weekly sex offender notices we know there are none next door. Well actually there's no one next door, it's an unimproved lot. We have plenty of deer stop by though.

What the story doesn't tell is how hard residents are fighting really hard to get these towns cleaned up. The conditions are unacceptable, but do not ever believe residents are okay with the status quo. What has failed is our local government, not our population as a whole. I would think sex offenders are perceived much more dangerous than the immigrants in Farmingville. But that might just be me, a mom with two daughters. Why do they keep getting placed here? Why is there no oversight? And why hasn't anyone truly acknowledged our plight? I think it's a mentality difference, the desire to fight for what you want and need vs expecting things to be done for you. Hence the idea of incorporating to take control of what is ours vs parading with signs on street corners.

What struck me in the article and in the comments was the notion that people out here are lesser beings. That is the biggest misconception I've ever heard. How would I know? Well, I grew up in Nesconset, went to Smithtown High School, lived in Middle Island and Farmingville before buying our house here in Shirley. I've seen all ends of the spectrum, lived and worked with the people. Yes, here they might not be in the height of fashion, or have all their teeth, but they're not bad people. I had nastier customers in Setauket, more truly disgusting men coming in shirtless then out here. And I worked the early shift - 6am in the morning - so I saw most of the local contractors a few times a week, if not daily. They acknowledge you and accept you, unlike in Setauket where you are there to serve. I had more men offer to lift things, carry things and move things in Shirley - even before I was pregnant.

What else the article doesn't mention for us has been a saving grace. The special ed department in the Wm Floyd District for preschool has been amazing. When I backed out of the CPSE testing to try early intervention one last time, the director called and basically reamed me out for not going through with things. She calmed down when I explained. And she was the one who didn't hesitate to start my daughter in the summer session, who approved intense speech therapy and other evaluations and subsequently adding occupational therapy. I was terrified to go to my first CPSE meeting, especially after hearing horror stories. We almost hired a pro to go in with us. After that first meeting I've had little cause for concern.

It's really sad that a fighting community has gotten such a bad write up from the Times. There are worse areas than ours, with less dumped on them than ours, that got prettier write-ups. So why are we only good for the beaches and a pit stop to the East End? The area might not be as pretty as some, or as wealthy as some, but it has heart. And that is truly rare.

My iPod, My Kitchen & Adam Lambert...

2009-04-11T09:34:00.003-05:00

Let me just start by saying I will not play Adam Lambert on my iPod while cooking any time again soon.

It was 9:30 in the morning, my husband had the girls, and I had to make some food for our Easter dinners. So I did what I always do when there's peace and quiet - I turned the radio up. I would like to preface this by saying I am not an American Idol fanatic - seriously, just because I can tell you what Paula will say before she says it, can't most of America too?!? I'm not a big voter, although David Cook did inspire my fingers to do some dialing. So I would say I am a fan. My iPod has a great blend of Kelly Clarkson, Jordan Sparks, Blake Lewis, Carrie Underwood, Phil Stacey, David Cook, Jason Castro, Michael Johns and Brooke White. And now I've added Adam, Allison and Anoop.

Anyway, my latest fave on AI is Adam Lambert. My thing with new music is to just listen until I get it stuck in my head really well. Like with Bon Jovi, I don't have to hear it with my ears, it's in my head, so if the beaters are going and I can't hear it, no big deal. The problem is my iPod is schizophrenic. Really. It just played Bonnie Tyler, Phil Collins, Bon Jovi, Will Smith, George Michael, Miley Cirus in that order. Randy Travis should pop up soon. So if I want to hear something I really just have to put it on. And since I had Adam on in the car yesterday, "Mad World" was stuck in my head - yeah, probably not the best thing to be stuck on. So I put his music on.

On my to do list was angel food cake, pudding pie, sauce and lasagna - nothing challenging what-so-ever in my book. I can do most with my eyes closed. Yeah, well, not while I'm focusing on something else. I get the angel food cake in the oven, using a mini-bunt cake pan (makes 4 mini cakes). It crossed my mind to put a baking sheet under it, but like I was saying, I was a little focused on the music.

Now you'll have to picture what's going on in my kitchen. I simply rolled out of bed, tied my hair up and dove into the cooking. So I'm in my nightgown, barefoot, hair sticking up in every direction. Now add to that, I am tone deaf. So no matter how good you sing - or how bad you sing - if I like the beat and the lyrics you're in. And no, I have no rhythm, so my girls bop to music better than I do.

I get the angel food cake in the oven, start the pudding mix, Adam's still doing his thing. The thing is, like I said, I'm still learning his stuff, so I'm not singing along, I'm just listening. Then the scent of burnt cake starts - yup, the cake overflowed, and since I was too distracted to put the pan underneath there is sticky angel food cake batter dripping down my oven grates into the oven.

Thankfully, at this point the music stops. I get everything under control - I'm a mom of two toddlers, I can handle it! I reset the iPod for my normal mix and now my kitchen is a heavenly blend of sweet cake (of course I saved it!), zesty garlic, pungent fresh basil and tomato sauce. Since I need to grate cheese I am hoping my iPod is nice to me so there won't be any skin in the mix!

And since you're probably wondering if I am tone deaf, what about Adam makes him a fave? I'm sure you get with David Cook it was the beat. Adam, however, has pretty blue eyes and really nice teeth. Go ahead laugh. Maybe it's superficial, but since I'm sure he'll get a good laugh that part of his demographic is married, tone deaf, stay-at-home mom's in pj's, I'm not going to beat myself up over it!

The Power of the Written Word

2009-02-07T16:13:00.000-05:00

Between my fifteen year anniversary just around the corner and the ridiculous amount of time I spend of Facebook I’ve become curious about memories. I, of course, remember the big things that happened, I just don’t always remember what led up to them. And I wonder why certain things played out as they did. At 33, I’m young enough to remember life before e-mail and AIM. Way back in my day we used these tools called pen and paper. I was surprised and thrilled at what I’ve kept along the way.

It may help that I enjoy writing. I spent two years on my high school paper and a year on my college paper and my elective courses were in literature, so more writing. It would also help that the vast majority of my friends and experiences evolved from the connections I made in those classes and in the newsrooms. I have a file box of almost every paper from all three years I worked on a newspaper staff. I also have notes I passed in high school, from bantering back and forth with girlfriends, to coded plots passed between Todd and I (I have copies from him). Most recently I found every note I got from my boyfriend senior year, including the note I passed him, and he passed back, asking him out. I have letters and cards from friends, and one very enlightening note from the guy I was - what do they call it now? -hanging out with, before Carl. Some are happy memories, others sad, but they all paint a picture of the person I was and what others thought of me.

It occurred to me, after going through my own paper-trail that my girls will probably never have that. Between e-mail, IM’s and texting no one writes things down like they used to. Sure they can save what they get, even what they send, but somehow I just don’t think it will be the same. The details in a written letter, the handwriting, the drawings, even how the note is folded, are just as important as the words themselves. Without the power of pen and paper they will never reach into a box, dig out a scribbled on, torn off sheet of paper with a mere sentence on it that takes them back to a moment in time and makes it come alive.

Not feeling the love.

2009-02-04T09:12:00.004-05:00

We've been in our house for almost 7 years now and we've become used to a certain standard of snow removal. You know, that they do remove the snow. With the storm last week, when after snowing all night, the weather switched to sleet and rain, I asked my husband to call the town and see what was up since at 9:30 a plow had not yet come down our street. It's not like we're some way off side street, we're right off the parkway, and a main thoroughfare for parents and buses to go to the schools on the other side of the parkway. Not to mention out whole street is a mere 3 1/2 blocks long.

So he made the call, very nice of him to handle that. But then he goes and writes a letter to the superintendent of the highway department. Wow, how proactive you say. Wait till you read this.

*John H. Rouse*
Office of the Superintendent of Highways
1140 Old Town Road
Coram, NY 11727

Dear Superintendent Rouse:
Until the start of this year, I was feeling the love. Plows came around early and often during snow storms, prompting us to boast about our highway department to our poor friends in other towns.
But, sadly, it seems the love is lost. In the last three storms, we didn't see one plow down our street -- a busy thoroughfare in our neck of the woods-- until I called to complain.
I'm all for a game of slip and slide on the tiled floor of my grandmother's basement, but not in my car with two young girls and a wife in tow.
Now, I'm a pretty patient guy, but my wife... With the taxes we pay, when we don't get the services we have come to appreciate, I'm the one that bears the brunt of it. And the worst part? My two girls are old enough to repeat their mother's nagging. It's too much estrogen for one man to handle.
Against this backdrop, I'd like to know if there was a change in service providers or some other reason why things have gone astray. I'd appreciate a response and immediate corrective action.
Help a fella out.

Talk about throwing me under a bus! I asked him TWICE to make the call - that's not nagging, trust me on that!

The letter of response was sent yesterday. Before I saw it this morning, I knew it had hit home at the highway department. The first plow came down the street at 5:30pm and they didn't stop coming till at least 10pm, scraping down so low sparks were coming off the plow. We won't mention that it took 6 hours for the first plow to come and the buses came down snowy streets, yet again. At least there's no ice this morning!

New teen pregnancy studies are out.

2009-01-27T09:33:00.004-05:00

There is an article in today's NYT about the new rise in teen pregnancy. It's up for the first time in a decade. Funny how that coincides with the Bush administration and preaching abstinence. I just wanted to share it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/health/27well.html?_r=1&8dpc

Since I've already been on my soap box about this, I won't bore you with more ramblings. If you don't remember my stance on sex ed, here's the link to that blog post:

http://www.homewith2girls.com/2008/10/sex-can-kill-you.html

I would vote republican before voting David Paterson into office.

2009-01-25T14:34:00.003-05:00

I didn't like or trust Paterson before this, choosing Gillibrand to replace Hillary just pushed me over the edge. You're seriously telling me either Cuomo or Suozzi wasn't a better, more well-rounded pick?!? Hello, she worked FOR Cuomo. Her district has a population of 654,360, Suozzi's is 1,334,544. She has less experience to be our senator than Sarah Palin did to be our Vice-President and that says a lot!

Paterson has to be planning his campaign already for him to have picked a wolf in sheep's clothing for senate. Why else would he need a conservative, NRA supporting WOMAN to fill the seat vacated by our new Secretary of State?

This was a great segment from a story in Newsday today - (and holy crap, they actually have reporters who write stories, not just AP feed!)

Some political experts worried Gillibrand's conservative credentials won't play well statewide, particularly in New York City. "She's a Blue-dog Democrat," said Democratic strategist Joseph Mercurio. "There's some irony because this seat has been held by liberals such as Robert Kennedy, Daniel Patrick Moynihan and Hillary Clinton."

-NEWSDAY
Kirsten Gillibrand named to fill Hillary Clinton's Senate seat
Will upstate politician prove to be Sarah Palin without the baggage?
BY ADAM ABRAMSON and JAMES T. MADORE

I cannot wait to actually ELECT a state official that's going to ruin my life vs having them shoved down my throat.

A New 12-Step Program

2009-01-13T12:47:00.004-05:00

I am a Facebook addict.

I go on in the morning to make sure my level 10 fairy garden is watered, and to see who's doing what. Then I check in on and off all day.

I love playing Mind Games, I give good Karma, I have a Sea Garden, and an FB House. I add photos. I join causes, chat with other moms, follow my favorite super-stars. I debate politics. I rag on my husband. I escape from countries around the world and learn useless bits of trivia. There is always something to do, 24 hours a day.

I have 84 friends, so I'm not a facebook whore yet. And I do my best to keep up with everyone - whether we've met IRL or not.

The worst part is I can still get done what needs to be done in a day. My kids are clean and fed and paid attention to. Dinner happens nightly. I actually tried a fancy sandwich for the girls today and made myself a salad - washed lettuce and everything! So where do I find the time? I have 2 weeks worth of shows on my DVR waiting for me.

If you're reading this you probably found it in the notes section of my profile. If you're not you can find my page with this e-mail: angela@homewith2girls.com.

There's probably a page that's been created for people like me, if not more! I think I'll go find one. ;)

The Same Old Conversation

2009-01-04T15:42:00.004-05:00

It occurred to me that over the years of shopping with my sister she and I have the same conversation whenever we're together at the mall. Why can't clothes just fit? And we should open a store that would do just that.

There is no place a "normal-shaped" woman can go and easily find clothes. You can't have either boobs or booty. And God forbid you're blessed with "birthing hips." Y'all know what I mean. Somewhere deep down we do get that a normal-shaped woman is pretty non-existent. However, size stereotypes need to be as over as Bush's presidency.

So when I was out yesterday trying to find a cocktail dress you shouldn't wonder at how excruciating it was.

First off, there is no way in hell I should need to take 3 sizes of one dress into the fitting room and the range shouldn't run between six sizes. Second, just because your size is in double digits does not mean your body curves out and you therefore need rectangular clothes. Third, not everyone is or should be a size 2 - hell, not everyone should even be a size 8. Lastly, just because my sizes run in the double digits, yet still in the teens, I am NOT matronly.

My next issue is once you reach the mid teens in sizes there is a void of clothing. There are no gowns, no cocktail dress and you can even forget about skirts. The casual clothes jump to stuff my grandma would wear.

So how does a thirty something get around this issue? You'd think the problem would be easily solved by shopping in a womens-size store. There is a glitch in that theory when you're above average in height. You see, even in plus sized world I'm too tall and thin. It's not arm fat that I need space for in shirts, it's shoulders. So I tend to need a size bigger than what I should be buying to accommodate my frame. I don't have to scoop my stomach into my pants to get in them, so there tends to be extra room in the crotch.

(Kudos to Lane Bryant for starting to get this idea with their Right Fit line. I am also thankful my local Lane Bryant employs skinny girls now - I don't get the dirty looks from the women who are trying to get down to my size.)

You get used to trying on 20 things to find one. And you wish you could just wave a magic wand and be thinner so you could fit into just about anything. Then you shop with a "normal" sized person - for me, my sister - and you hear the same problems. Well, maybe the opposite crotch problem, but you get the idea.

Even basic clothes come with stress now-a-days. Anyone who knows me gets I'm a jeans and sweats girl. But in recent years even my go to outfits are failing me. My latest pair of jeans comes out of the dryer so tight I can barely button them, hug my thighs and brush the top of my ankle bone. Within an hour the cuffs reach the floor, I have an inch and a half space in each thigh and I need a belt to hold them up. How in the hell can you anticipate that trying on a pair of jeans for a few minutes in a store?

The craziest part is the discussion you have with your man trying to explain all this. Men have it easy, all they need is a tape measure, not advanced trigonometry, to find the right size. I tried explaining to my husband my weight loss goal for September when I have to dress shop all over again. After telling him a range of sizes and he asked shouldn't I have a better defined goal. I think I looked at him like he had 10 heads, since that sort of goal is unattainable. After laughing at him, a mere man ignorant in the ways of women's fashion, I told him a pound goal and said what ever size may fit when I get there will work.

Next time you're out shopping and pondering the atrocities of your body shape remember two things: you're not alone and a prayer to the fashion gods before entering the fitting room isn't such a bad idea.

SEX CAN KILL YOU

2008-10-30T19:38:00.004-05:00

I'm Pro-Choice. To me it's simple - government has no right to control what I do with or to my body.*

BUT I am in no way, shape or form Pro-Abortion. The idea that being pro-choice means you support abortion is ridiculous.

I will say I have never had to consider the idea. I've been with the same man since I was 18 and we were together 11 years before we had our first child and boy was she planned! And yes, the next one, 20 months later, was very planned as well. Just for the record, because even my grandma asked that question!

But having carried two children, seeing and hearing their heartbeats at 6 weeks and at 8 weeks, I cannot believe it is a simple decision to have an abortion. There is no going back from abortion, there's no unsealing records and maybe finding happiness. Once it's done it's done. So why not use everything in our power to prevent people from having to make that choice?

And I don't think abortions for the health of the mother should be called abortions. There has to be another way to say it. One person or the other will die, sometimes it's just a matter of who has a better chance of survival. Is it better to let them both die? How is that an OK thing with God? And sometimes it's not the baby who dies, sometimes its the mom. No one should have to chose between themselves and their child, sometimes that's just the way it is.

I don't understand, with all our knowledge, with all our medical advances, why people think abstinence is what to teach. I mean, come on, no on really thinks people are going to be celibate until they're 30 - good luck making it to 20. There's no such thing as an old maid. What is so wrong about educating our youth about birth control? What is so bad about moms telling their daughters they need to carry a condom too? Don't tell my husband, but that will be a part of my discussion.

What scares me is that in the midst of teaching abstinence, DISEASE has been left out. Forget moral and religious issues - sex can KILL you. Even the most curable diseases, ones that can be banished with a dose of penicillin, can cause some serious damage if left untreated. Then there are the ones without symptoms, that without regular checkups can eat away at your insides. Then there's the big scary ones - HIV, HPV and AIDS.

The funniest part of it is teen pregnancy keeps going down. You know who's out there having abortions - the 20 somethings. The ones who can go to a bar, pick someone up and wake up in a strange bed with no recollection of what happened. Now I need to watch what I say here or someone might think I'm suggesting prohibition again. What I'm saying is if people of ALL AGES (because you'd be surprised how many older people get STD's now-a-days) were EDUCATED on birth control and disease just maybe the number of unwanted pregnancies would go down.

Adoption education is very lacking in our society. Maybe if people were EDUCATED on ADOPTION they wouldn't think it was a keep it or kill it situation. You hear about the couple that can't have children, the ones who pay a great deal of money to adopt children from other countries. That's not a big deal. So why don't we tell our youth that this IS an option? There's even OPEN ADOPTIONS now that you can keep in touch with the child you've given up. It's not all closed-book, never-see-the-child-again rules anymore.

And seriously, if you still have religious problems with birth control try the SEX CAN KILL YOU approach, because plain old abstinence is not cutting it!

Bad things happen to good people. Less bad things happen when you're educated about them. So maybe I'm not pro-choice. I think pro-sex ed is a better catch phrase. I like that.

*for those of you who will comment, I don't have an issue with prostitution either. It's another thing that if it were "okay" there would be less disease and less death. I have an issue with forcing women and girls into prostitution, but doing it by free choice doesn't bother me at all.

Community organizing at it's best!

2008-09-12T08:12:00.003-05:00

http://www.barackitforward.blogspot.com/

This site started on a parenting discussion board of 500 members across the country. This is the very thing Gov. Palin, Fmr. Mayor Guliani and the like are making fun of. A community organizing to make change happen. This time our community is AMERICA!

SPEAK OUT and HELP OUT NOW! Every vote will count and every action will count. Be part of HISTORY. FIGHT for the freedoms our forefathers died for, for the freedoms our troops die for every day, for everyone who didn't have a say at one point in time. It's time for CHANGE.

VOTE BARACK OBAMA PRESIDENT 2008!!!!!!

Where else can you have your say? Tell Barack your opinion right here: http://www.ohboyobama.com/

VOLUNTEER NOW at http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/statepages

This is a personal opinion and is in no way endorsed by the Obama for America campaign.

Would you allow your kids to play with unvaccinated children? I would.

2008-08-25T19:13:00.003-05:00

And I'm quoted on MSNBC.com saying just that!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26269069/

My girls are up to date on vaccines, as per the American Academy of Pediatrics. The chance of contracting a disease even being vaccinated is slim. Why would I worry that my girls would get one of these diseases from a friend, when they can just as easily contract it from a seatmate on an airplane - especially those international flights?

I believe strongly in vaccinating, I would encourage parents to do so. I would also encourage the medical community to look at how many vaccines children get at once and over their lifetime. I know my kids will get quite a few more than I do - especially the flu vaccine, which I've never gotten. There has to be a link between autism and vaccines; the sooner someone admits it and fixes it the better off we'll all be. There's some nasty stuff in those shots, but what makes it any worse than the things we eat that are loaded with preservatives? I don't know.

Here's what it comes down to for me - what if the one kid in the class who's not vaccinated could be my child's best friend for life? Who am I do deny that kind of relationship over a vaccine? And what if that un-vaccinated child could never have been my child's friend because a vaccine made them sick?

I'm not God, I'm just a mom, one of billions around the world, who have to do the best they can, every hour of every day for their children. We have so many choices, many of them will be wrong. In my book ostracising an un-vaccinated child or their parents is wrong. Simple as that.

Cleaning

2008-08-06T10:10:00.004-05:00

I feel like I'm always cleaning and that the house is never actually clean. I've been having trouble trying to figure out why that is. This morning I had an epiphany - it's not that I don't clean enough, I just clean the same things over and over.

In the past two weeks I've cleaned the bathroom twice, washed the kitchen floor twice, vacuumed about 5 times (not counting the constant Dustbuster hum), emptied the dishwasher a good 10 times, changed sheets, wiped off the couches 3-4 times. All of it needs to be done again in the next day or so.

What I have not done is pick up a dust rag, pick up the odds and ends tucked around the house, put together Charlee's new picnic table (the box is still in the hall). Thank goodness for closet doors, cause I need them! Before kids it was not my issue - the husband, well that's another lost cause! (LOL - he is right now saying he cleans - ask him how many clothes are next to his side of the bed, what is covering his bathroom floor, and how much laundry he has to do) Clutter, not DIRT is making the house a disaster.

Basically, had I not vacuumed once, and not wiped the couches once, I probably could have dusted. You wouldn't want to enter my house had I made that decision! Oh, well. Toys, well that's just a lost cause. Clutter, yeah, same thing. Because once you figure in cooking 2-3 meals a day, changing diapers, showering, doing laundry, pulling the kids apart, Facebook time, phone time - who has time to dust!?!

The house looks like a disaster, and it drives me crazy. At least I know I'm cleaning even if no one else sees it!

All grown up?

2008-08-06T09:40:00.003-05:00

The big day is here, the high chair is being packed away. I handled putting away bottles, the baby swing, little socks and shoes, even the infant car seat very well. This one, this is painful. Once this is gone the last bit of baby stuff in the house is Catie's crib - which just got dropped to the lowest level last week.

This feels like finality. And that's very strange because there is no way in hell I'm having more kids - ever. I think I've got the look in response to the very abundant comment, "the next one will be a boy," down pat, so much so that the last person to say that quickly said two is a good number! I have no desire to be pregnant again, to wake up every 3 hours for feedings or anything else. I love babies, don't get me wrong, I just love handing them back to their parents more!

My girls are walking and talking toddlers - I'm quite pleased with that! So why is removing the high chair so hard - I think it's just that I have to admit I'm getting older. As my girls grow up, I age, and it happens very fast. And it's not so much the numeric age, I'm sure younger parents go through the same thing, it's the "I'm old enough to" thing we all do and kids make that line more finite.

Looking forward, the next thing to do away with is diapers. And my plan after that is to enjoy the time between diapers and tampons - I'm going to age extra fast when those are in the house for the girls. I'm thinking of investing in a cabin in the woods to go with Carl when that happens - heck this is all his fault, I should leave him to handle the PMS!

Fight back for Barack

2008-06-29T20:37:00.003-05:00

While it is mostly expected, there has been an even greater bout of biased reporting on FOX news. The latest against the Obama's is calling Michelle "Obama's baby mama" which is slang for unmarried parents. While the elitist whitey's (I check the white box too, so back off) could use the excuse they are simply clueless about hip slang, it is completely disrespectful. This latest comment, added to many more, has pushed MoveOn.org into taking action - sign the petition here:

http://pol.moveon.org/stopthesmears/?r_by=-9383384-d3sE15x&rc=paste

And oh, my lord in heaven, the man is NOT MUSLIM! He is a devout Catholic. Just because you got an e-mail doesn't make it true. And since we're on the Internet and you don't have to believe I'm telling you the truth, here's it is, laid our for you on his own site:
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/

And here's the truth reported on other sites, for those of you who are still non believers:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004474447_smear13.html

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_barack_obama_muslim.htm

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/muslim.asp

Here is a very well researched story about the rumors - I applaud the editor on this masterpiece:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/askeditor/stories/022808dnediasktheeditor.3c8a289.html

And for a good laugh:
http://www.slate.com/id/2193798/

Friends.

2008-05-14T12:01:00.005-05:00

When you have friends for 15-20 years they remind you of things - who you were, what you did, where mutual friends have ended up. They shape your life, help you chose paths, support your decisions. But how often to you wonder how they got where they are? I usually don't, until a website was passed on to me today. It got me wondering.

My collage of friends includes the trouble maker who sat next to me in 9th grade Earth Science who's now a police officer, the sociology major who owns an incredibly successful Internet business, the journalist who's passion leads the way for others, the quiet friend who changed direction and started a business, the rebel who is an exquisite craftsman and so many more. Are they who I expected them to be? Yes and no. Maybe in my own self absorption, I missed subtle hints that led them on their path. Maybe the perspective has altered with age and wisdom. Maybe I just didn't know them as well as I thought. Some are still friends, others are not.

There are choices I regret, apologies I'd love to make and decisions that others regret for me. But from all of them I've learned something - be it about life or about myself, there was a lesson. And since my friends have other friends besides just me, I'm sure their paths were altered in similar ways. So when I look at them now and wonder how they got there, I'm sure I'd be surprised by the answer. You never know how one person can alter the course of another.

For example, I'm sure my friends who think they know a lot about me don't know about some sage advice I received at age 18 that changed my life. It was a simple date one or date many question that most of us have to answer, that I posed to a friend. This answer brought me to the love of my life and father of my children. One answer, from one friend, irrevocably changed my life.

Do I think I'm where my friends expected me to be? Not particularly. But they love me anyway.

Just stop.

2008-05-12T08:16:00.003-05:00

I'm totally fed up. I can't take much more of this hypocritical bullshit. As Clinton and Obama continue their attacks the more frustrated I get. And the media is right in the middle of it all.

My first frustration is with the candidates. Well, Clinton in particular - but I support Obama, so that's expected. The old school political crap is unattractive. The cheap shots are ridiculous - her comment after winning Pennsylvania about how much he spent there was ludicrous coming from a person who had to put in $5 mill of her OWN money to keep her campaign afloat in January. At least the money Obama spent is from his supporters, not his spouse's coffers. Stupid stuff like this is not going to win an election, all it's going to do is push the independents to the republican vote. This dirty politicking is unladylike, unbecoming and really pathetic. You want to win, win on merit - you claim to have enough of it.

Obama needs to not only grow a pair, but learn how to use them. Rev Wright is getting the best of him, for no good reason. Stand up for yourself man! If you screwed up SAY SO. Stop circumventing the issue and changing your answers. Shit, if you can't take on a reverend, how the hell are you going to be commander in chief?!? Maybe we should be voting for Oprah.

So here's my advice - put your egos aside, make nice with each other and UNITE the democrats. It's really very simple, but pride isn't called a deadly sin for no reason.

My next issue is with the media. Who gives a flying fuck what Obama eats? God forbid a candidate eats HEALTHY. We all laughed at President Clinton eating his Big Macs - all that got him was a heart attack. If he's elitist for eating the right way, in the most obese country in the world, then it's not really a bad thing, now is it?

And maybe more Americans would know what arugula is if we didn't have to import all our produce. I grow it in my garden every year, you can find seeds in your local Home Depot, Walmart or Target. You can't you say? Order them from the Burpee catalog. I can find it in my local grocery stores, and if you're having trouble finding it, check by the fresh herbs - they package it there too.

And to McCain's camp, my local take out Greek place has an arugula salad on their menu. It's a dive, but it's got amazing food. So you don't have to go to some fancy restaurant for it, you just have to open your eyes.

I think what pissed me off the most was Maureen Dowd of the New York Times taking a swipe at Obama's eating habits. I get they're endorsing Clinton, I understand it's her column, but the Times was the last place I could go to for real news, now I don't know. It is my understanding that newspapers were supposed to report the news with no bias. The last time the media went this route we almost went to war on a lie. Hmmm, maybe Bush isn't responsible for this mess. ( just kidding)

Enjoying the rainbow

2008-04-04T07:35:00.000-05:00

We finally found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - Charlee qualified for speech therapy!

Thank you to all our friends and family who spent the last year supporting us and suffering with us. We know there is no way we would have gotten this far without your love and support.

Simply, from my heart

2008-03-31T14:08:00.003-05:00

I am beginning to feel like SISYPHUS in my quest to get my daughter speech help. It seems like every time we get close, everything comes tumbling down. We are approaching the top of the hill again and I am waiting to fall, once again. It really is the most horrible feeling.

Part of me feels like I failed her as a mom. If she were my only child it might be different, there would be no comparison. But she's not and her sister is loquacious. I feel guilty for enjoying Catie's speech, although I do relish naptime when Charlee and I can play quietly, communicating in our own way.

More and more I feel like I need to translate for her. I understand her gestures the best, and interepret her body language. More and more she is frustrated she can not get her point across herself.

I am in awe of other children her age who's speech has come so easily and am terrified how Charlee will feel as her little sister begins to talk better than she does. While I understand Charlee is gifted in other ways, it won't stop her own internal comparison and my heart breaks for her.

I am most greatful for her friend Peyton, who allows Charlee to be herself and loves her for it. When Charlee is with Peyton she is not judged, not looked down upon, never ignored. Their embrace when they meet would tickle the hardest man, it is in silence they great each other. My daughter glows for days after her company. I wish there were more children in the world like Peyton that I could surround Charlotte with.

The best I can do is tell her everyday that I love her and fight my hardest for her. Hopefully what I can do will be enough.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

2008-02-12T15:33:00.000-05:00

It's sweet when people are concerned. But when they're not as concerned as you the advice gets grating. So does the over-concerned advice.

If you've been following, my older daughter is speech delayed. And if I hear one more time Einstein didn't talk until he was 3 - and the last time was my grandfather - I may have to strangle that person!

We're getting her help - we've been working on getting her help for almost a year now. But we can't win - either we don't do enough or we do too much.

Want to know the problem - she's too smart. And that's not a real big problem.

An example - I offered her milk right before bedtime and told her when she finished she'd have to go to bed. Well, she drank half of it and started playing with Daddy. A 1/2 hour later, when I told her it was time for bed, she shook her head and showed me the 1/2 cup of milk. She non-verbally insisted she didn't have to go to bed since she didn't finish her milk. SHE'S 2!!!

And I'm sure there are lots of other parents who's loved ones are as equally vocal about how you go about raising your children. From the little question of is he wearing a hat (yeah, mom, but it comes off as fast as it goes on!!) to potty training (you were trained at age 2) to extra help (you should do what ever it takes to help your child succeed) and on and on!

For us here and all of you out there, I'm going to holler something our parents told us:IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

And yes, I AM talking about YOU! Sometimes, it's not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it - that one should sound familiar too.

SUPER TUESDAY

2008-02-05T09:47:00.001-05:00

I just want to say, although it's just under half the states voting, and it's a primary GET OUT AND VOTE!!! It's always important to have a say in government and the electoral process was set up so we, as Americans, can have a say.

Oh, and one other thing:

VOTE BARACK OBAMA

http://www.barackobama.com/index.php

THIS IS AN UNSOLICITED COMMENT AND NOT PAID FOR IN ANY WAY BY ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE!! HOWEVER MY HUSBAND IS NOW REGRETTING PAYING FOR MY SITE!!

Donate old cell phones for Battered Women to HopeLine

2008-01-15T10:40:00.000-05:00

It's a verizon wireless program that refurbishes old phones or sells them to purchase new ones for battered women across the country. So if you upgraded your phone, have an old pager stuck in a drawer somewhere this is where to send it:

Verizon Wireless HopeLine
c/o ReCellular Inc.
2555 Bishop Circle W.
Dexter, MI 48130

My second shipment is going out to them this week.

Here's there site if you want more info:

http://support.vzw.com/faqs/Company%20Information/faq_hopeline.html#item6

If you are a battered woman and need assistance please call the HopeLine hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or by dialing #HOPE from their Verizon Wireless phone.

She is a SENATOR you know.

2008-01-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

This is really starting to PISS ME OFF. Why do people insist on calling Hillary Clinton, Mrs. Clinton?? She is the former First Lady, she is a NY State Senator - refer to her as such. They don't say Mr. Edwards, or Mr. Obama - they use Senator. Why the discrepancy? To me it shows a complete lack of respect for her and her hard work. And whether you like her or not it is HARD WORK being a senator.

The Political Game

2008-01-09T09:17:00.001-05:00

While watching the Iowa caucus the other night I commented that Hillary played the political game and we needed someone to turn the game board upside down and change the rules.

After watching the New Hampshire coverage last night, I was thinking about what games the candidates political strategies would be.

First Sen. Clinton - For her, I see the game LIFE. As a kid I used my mom's game, so circa 1960, a representation of what people wanted life to be, not necessarily what it truly was. It has a clear beginning and end, a rigid path and a lot of success along the way. But there is no place to stray from the path. The game of LIFE will never hold an unplanned pregnancy, or drug abuse. It's a happily ever after game that doesn't represent most people's lives.

For Sen. Obama, I see the game of MONOPOLY. A fight against the man; a way to create your own future. Created in 1934, during on of the worst periods in US history, the game was meant to let people who had nothing try to make their own way. To do in play what they couldn't do in real life. While our problems now are a bit more complicated, the American dream still exists. And it was the president in office when the game came out that got us out of the Depression. FDR CHANGED everything people knew, created the programs that now need to be updated and fixed to represent a new era.

For Sen. Edwards I'm liking UNO or Go Fish. Simple, yet engaging. But like his recent commentary, they get redundant.

It's not just about sad, tired and frustrated

2008-01-06T09:50:00.000-05:00

Because every new mom feels those things. It's more complicated than that.

Some of you are aware, most of you are not, that after the birth of my first daughter I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression. After my second pregnancy I was again diagnosed. I am still suffering from it 10 months post partum.

Each time has been a totally different experience. After Charlee I was depressed. I cried at the drop of a hat, I gained 30 pounds after losing all but 5 lbs of baby weight. I tried going back to work, hoping the lack of interaction with people was part of the problem. I just got worse. When she turned 6 months old, I went to the doctor. My reason after all that time - there is no reason my 6 month old should have be comforting me when I cried, especially since there was no "good" reason for me to be crying.

With Catie, I was willing to admit problems very early. She was 2 months old when I saw the doctor. But I wasn't crying, I was aggravated. The slightest thing would set me off. One example I have is when I forgot to pay the mortgage (see symptoms below) and was hysterical about it - it wasn't late, I just didn't pay it as on time as usual.

With Charlotte I went on Prozac and saw a psychologist. There were other issues at the time that needed taking care of, so I thought that was best. I was on the meds for 6 months. I went off because I was feeling numb, even things that I always teared up about didn't affect me and I hated that feeling. A month later was pregnant again.

With Catie I started on Zoloft, mostly because when I went off the Prozac I dropped a whole dress size in 3 weeks with no change in diet or exercise. I hadn't lost the baby weight, and some of the PPD weight from Charlee, so extra baggage didn't seem like a good option. Two months after starting it, I took a dose late. Bad for me that it was Charlee's birthday party day - I had a panic attack. Once the dose kicked in, I was fine.

A few months after that my symptoms seemed to intensify. I went back to the doctor, and actually saw his partner, the OB that had been taking care of me for years. He told me it was too late for PPD and it must be regular depression. Well, as I sat and cried, he was pretty useless. I knew I wasn't just depressed, it still isn't how I would describe myself.

Because of his attitude, and because he almost blew me off the day I went in to the hospital to have Catie (that's a whole other story) I switched doctors. I went back on Zoloft, but it wasn't working anymore. Hesitant to start what I feel is a more hard core drug, I opted to try the Prozac again. Not only did it not work for any of my symptoms, I blew up like a balloon - and that's not good for the mental health!

I procrastinated with through the holidays, and in the past few weeks have had a number of panic attacks. Today I see the doctor for a different course of action.

Why am I sharing this? Because PPD/PPA is a very common post partum issue. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that a doctor dismissed or refused to diagnose or help. It can be diagnosed up to a year after having a baby. I want women to know that if they're not feeling right after giving birth to tell their doctor. Sometimes a change in diet is all you need, sometimes you need more. Sometimes talking helps, sometimes it doesn't. There are support groups, counselors, even your best friend.

How many women are affected? I am part of an online birth board and of the approximately 1000 babies born in march 2007, 10% of their moms were diagnosed with PPD or PPA - that is for ONE MONTH of babies, on an online board. Statistics show that is the norm - 10% of all new moms are DIAGNOSED with PPD/PPA. But not everyone is diagnosed. The site http://www.4women.gov/faq/postpartum.htm#2 says "Often, the depression is not recognized or treated, because some normal pregnancy changes cause similar symptoms and are happening at the same time. Tiredness, problems sleeping, stronger emotional reactions, and changes in body weight may occur during pregnancy and after pregnancy. But these symptoms may also be signs of depression."

And let me tell you it's not just the women who experience it. Men do too! Here's a link for the guys: http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/postpartum.html. Having a baby is more life changing than anyone can actually tell you. The pressure added to provide for your family can be tremendous.

Just know, where ever you are, who ever you are there is help out there.

Here are some of the signs and symptoms:

Any of these symptoms during and after pregnancy that last longer than two weeks are signs of depression:

Feeling restless or irritable
Feeling sad, hopeless, and overwhelmed
Crying a lot
Having no energy or motivation
Eating too little or too much
Sleeping too little or too much
Trouble focusing, remembering, or making decisions
Feeling worthless and guilty
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities
Withdrawal from friends and family
Having headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations (the heart beating fast and feeling like it is skipping beats), or hyperventilation (fast and shallow breathing)
After pregnancy, signs of depression may also include being afraid of hurting the baby or oneself and not having any interest in the baby.

Don't worry, it will be okay.

A presidential difference

2007-12-27T11:27:00.001-05:00

I watched a brief portion of the Kennedy Center Awards last night, just the part where singers honored Diana Ross. In that brief moment I was sorely reminded that, while I really don't like the awards shows, I loved watching President Clinton watch the awards shows. During the time in which 4 different performers and a choir took the stage there was just one shot of George W. and he looked bored. His hand against his face, slumped sideways in his chair was a sad comparison to President Clinton who would have been leaning forward in his chair with a huge smile on his face.

I do have to wonder if the difference isn't lack of enjoyment, but a matter of comfort seeing as George W. doesn't have many supporters in the entertainment industry - and FOX news doesn't count here - even less after slamming down a proposal that would have allow 15 states to set their own emissions standards, including California. This is really a bad time of year to be alienating the liberals in California.

I have to vent

2007-12-22T08:20:00.000-05:00

It's been bugging me for a LONG time - well about 8 months now.

Suri Cruise is still using a bottle at age 20 months!! It drives me crazy seeing that beautiful baby in designer clothes with a playtex nurser in hand.

Don't they know it isn't good after 12 months. Of course knowing Mr. Cruise traditional rules don't apply, just like I don't have PPD, it's all in my head.

SHHH Don't tell my husband...

2007-12-20T12:14:00.000-05:00

I was a SUCKER!!!

It's ok, he won't be surprised.

If you didn't already know, Hokey Poky Elmo is a top ten toy this season. Toys R Us is sold out. Amazon.com want $75 for it (it's a $25 toy). Catie LOVES Elmo and she bops along when ever there's music on so I had to have it for her. I got it on eBay. I confess.

What's interesting is that unlike the Cabbage Patch Kid craze of the 80's when mom's (dad's too I'm sure) stood online from the wee hours of the morning to pay crazy amounts for THE doll to have, I popped open my laptop, went online and searched for the best prices and all I paid extra was shipping. No gas or coffee money needed; no clothing, shower or hairspray needed! So it pretty much balances out. And come on - you guys didn't leave the house without a spritz of Aqua Net!!

For all those parents who did stand in line all those years ago, I salute you. Thanks MOM!!! It was one of my most memorable toys. My SECOND one was just as special, a pretty redhead I got early for my birthday since my party that year was before the actual day. (The same year my dad put up the swing set, in time for my party, so thanks DAD too!)

And while I swore never to be one of the crazy, gotta have it parents, I too have succumbed to the idea of my little girl's smile getting the perfect toy from Santa.

How kids get into EVERYTHING

2007-12-18T09:27:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you know that. But this story is different, I promise!

It all began when Charlotte was 2 months old. After nights of fussiness and fighting sleep we were flipping channels and Shark Tale, starring Will Smith, came on HBO. In an instant our screaming child was silent. And from then on, thanks to Cablevision's DVR boxes, whenever she was inconsolable we put it on. After watching the movie at least once a day, we pretty much had it memorized. She's now almost 2 1/2 and it's still one of her favorite movies.

Well, this weekend each grandma took a child and Carl and I used the opportunity to go to the movies. Living in a commercial free Noggin bubble I don't have any idea what movies are out, except Alvin and the Chipmunks (I love My Name is Earl's Jason Lee). So the first thing Carl said when I told him to check movie times was that he wasn't going to see the chipmunks! My reply was that the new Will Smith movie was out and check that. I seriously had no idea what it was about, but it was Will Smith - how could we go wrong?

I am Legend was AMAZING. Will Smith is SMOKIN' HOT!! But how does that lead into the kids? Well, during the movie he starts singing Sean Paul and Ziggy Marley's Three Little Birds, which is from Shark Tale. (That's not the way you sing it, man!) I whisper to Carl that we're probably the only ones in the theatre to get the irony of that! Then later he's reciting Shrek (another favorite movie around here) word for word like we did with Shark Tale. I was biting my cheek to keep from laughing at that too.

So that's how kids get into everything - even a date with your husband.

Now I'm going to put the song on my iPod to make the girls happy!

Note to hubby - like my links? And it looks like Shark Tale 2 will be out in 2008!

My diet food is making me fat

2007-12-03T12:23:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in front of my lunch torn between eating it and tossing it. Silly me thought the word LEAN in Lean Cuisine actually meant lean.

I have been a good girl eating their paninis for lunch, not splurging on anything, trying to get rid of this baby weight. What I didn't think to do, while chasing through the store with a 2 year old and 8 month old, was look at the back of the box to see how many calories and grams of fat there were in each serving. Well, it turns out I could have been eating a whole can of spaghettios or a slice of pizza with LESS grams of FAT and fewer calories than these paninis!

I have in front of me a grilled chicken, spinach, mushroom and roasted pepper panini with cheese about the size of half a sandwich. My 2 year old has a bowl full of spaghettios. She's getting .5 grams of fat to my 8 grams and 200 calories to my 280. And the sodium difference is about 200mg.

I am seriously having trouble with the idea grilled chicken and veggies on a sandwich is worse for you than spaghettios. Because in reality it's not. It's the cheese they put on top that has all the fat in it. But now I know and will avoid them like the plague. And trust me the sodium content in spaghettios isn't worth the splurge! I think making my own food instead of a 3 minute quicky will have to be the way to go. Purdue shortcuts here I come!!

Night before Christmas for Moms

2007-11-29T19:14:00.000-05:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
while visions of Playstation and Barbie, flipped through their heads.
The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
with a half-constructed bicycle up on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"
With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
she descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."
"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."
"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."
The mother's twin. Same hair, same eyes,same double chin.
"She'll cook, she'll dust,"she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy, watch The Young & the Restless."
"Fantastic!" the mom cheered."My dream come true! "
I'll shop. I'll read.,I'll sleep a whole night through!
"From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?! I scared... and I 'm wet.
"The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."
The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.
"You the best mommy ever. " I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."
The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal.
"That's my child's love, she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear,"
Only one loving mother, is needed here.
"The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa, " for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget, it won't be very long,
when they'll be too old, for my cradle-song.
"The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time.
"With the clone by his side Santa said, "Goodnight.
Merry Christmas, Mom,
You'll be all right."

Author unkown

I couldn't do it.

2007-11-11T09:39:00.000-05:00

Election Day 2007. I'm at the polls, voting for my favorite local democrats with Catie in my arms. It was her first time voting, I had to teach her right! I flick the tabs, all but one. I check out the proposals - this is the first time I've said no to one of those. Then I come back to the tab I didn't flick yet.

It was for Brookhaven's County Legislator. I saw the debate, I read their bios, I liked the republican. BUT the republicans have horrible history in Brookhaven - aka Crookhaven. Plus country-wide I don't agree with the republicans. So standing in front of the poll, knowing who would make a better Legislator, I still voted against her for the Democratic candidate. My final thinking was that it's taken the past two years to clean up the mess left by the republicans, not much room left for other progress. So I decided to give her another chance and flicked the tab for a straight democrat row.

I wasn't the only one, she was re-elected by a slim majority - 54%. I wish it felt like a win.

What no one told you about having babies

2007-09-24T15:13:00.000-05:00

When one sleeps the other not only doesn't, but won't let you do anything but hold her.
Sleeping is a luxury, not for the first few months, but for the next 18 years.
You stop wondering why people bring sticky children to the store - it happened with the bribe in the car on the way to the store!
Headaches and heartaches are the least of your worries - backaches from lifting, lugging and carrying them and their stuff keeps chiropractors in business!
A night relaxing means laying on the floor being used as a punching bag.
Toddlers can eat as much as an adult when they're hungry.
Unwanted advice people warn you about comes from the people who warned you in the first place.
Your mother starts sounding like your grandmother. And your grandmother starts sounding sane.
You wonder why sex sounded fun in the first place.
You need a high capacity washer and dryer even though the clothes are tiny - it's your clothes that you need it for!!
Nothing is ever clean again. Cause even when you clean it, it gets dirty within minutes.
You get no sympathy for your pain, just laughter.
Your relationship with your mother-in-law becomes a finite love or hate.
Strangers have opinions about your children, even with just a glance.
Other people's children do not become more easy to deal with, you just can't pay as much attention because yours has become one of them!
Bath time is fraught with danger - not the drowning kind, the poopy kind.
Rubbing Bengay on each other is foreplay.
You learn why your mom can clean everything and anything. And how to get her to do it for you.
A child free shower can be the highlight of your day.
Drinking heavily is on your list of to-do's since a glass of wine has less calories that the gallon of ice cream you need to sooth your nerves.

Top 10 Things to Stop Doing to Piss Off Your Wife

2007-09-24T14:47:00.000-05:00

10. Talking to someone else when you're talking to her, even if what she's saying isn't too important.
9. Taking off your clothes next to the bed and then going into the bathroom where your hamper is.
8. Taking off your work clothes and leaving them, and shoes, in the middle of the floor.
7. Saying, sorry, I was at lunch, when her lunch was cold chicken nuggets with the kids.
6. Not owning up to the fact you've been an ass.
5. Saying you'll take care of it...two months ago.
4.Telling her her job is hard...but yours is harder.
3. Not doing what she asks - and then telling HER to do it.
2. Not doing the ONE thing she said HAD to be done that weekend.
1. Imply her being upset is PMS - even if it is!

The real reason to shop online!!

2007-08-21T08:11:00.000-05:00

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675#description

Just read the item description - go potty first - you'll wet yourself!!

no holds bar on the war

2007-08-20T07:48:00.000-05:00

Well geez, it's about time someone started talking about it! I recently read a comment that the idea of supporting the troops but not the war didn't make the troops feel any better, I wish I remembered where so I could reference it.

Here's my thing - when terrorists flew our own planes into NYC and Washington DC and Philadelphia it angered us. Many men and women joined our armed forces to avenge the deaths of so many innocent lives. BUT THERE'S STILL A 6-FOOT DIABETIC ON THE LOOSE. Yeah, the one that actually started all this. But for some reason we still haven't caught him, for some reason were fixing a country that didn't ask for our fixing, are drowning debt because they won't put up their own and the lives lost HAVE NOT BEEN AVENGED!

So yes, I can support the troops and not the war because if we were fighting the war we were promised I could support both.

Recent E-mail from Mattel

2007-08-20T07:38:00.000-05:00

http://emailimg.fisher-price.com/imgs/us/solo/recall/bob.php?m=16735426&e=181616347&b=105

The jist from the CEO - I have 4 kids of my own and endangered them too. Isn't that sweet?

Fisher Price is one of the most trusted names in children's toys, or used to be. Until some significant changes are obviously made they will no longer be welcome in my home. And I'm not a paranoid conspiracy freak, I just love my kids.

My issue is once again with China trying to kill us off. The other issue is the dumbass president getting us so far into debt for a war that shouldn't have started that China OWNS US. So GW bend over and take what they're giving.

I like him anyway!

2007-08-20T07:24:00.000-05:00

So I got this e-mail recently, and of course will not pass along propaganda crap from my personal e-mail(see below), but just wanted to comment that this is what's wrong in this country. NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS!!! Seriously, can you say Hitler mentality? I figure as long as someone competent is finally running this country why does it matter what religious back ground he/she has?

I just want to remind everyone the greatest atrocities done in America by Americans were done by WHITE MEN. Start of course with Native American genocide and slavery, but terrorist activity - Timothy McVeigh - umm, can you say US MILITARY TRAINING?!? All the school shootings - white boys and men - what kind of person attacks Quakers?!?!

So maybe next time you're at the voting booth you'll take heed and not vote the white man into power. And if you're reading this not knowing me - I'm lily white, can't even tan white and smart as all heck!!

Who is Barack Obama? U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. ; Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school, but they were given strick instructions that Barak was Muslim and not to participate in Catholic classes or instruction. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He Is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school." Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya Soon aft er the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking Major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background. Please forward to everyone you know. The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level?

Save the Children First Save the World

2007-08-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

Here we go again, another BPA scare. Now they're targeting baby bottles and baby food. Just after NYS decided to not give formula samples in hospital goody bags, replacing them with breastfeeding t-shirts. Coincidence - probably. Irritating - totally!

Well tough shit. I'm bottle feeding with Dr. Brown's bottles, I'm feeding with Gerber food packed in plastic. I use disposable diapers for two kids.

If you are so concerned about carcinogens then vote for a senator or governor or president that gives a hoot about the environment, that looks into alternative fuel options, that helps clean our waters and air, that promotes fuel efficiency in cars earlier than 2020. Be like NYC mayor Bloomberg and have your taxi's go hybrid. Make hybrid cars more affordable. Recycle.

If you want to save your kids, start by saving the world. Dumping hundreds of dollars of bottles into a landfill isn't going to help.

Finally a Car

2007-07-31T07:43:00.000-05:00

I narrowed my search down to the Pontiac Torrent, Mercury Mariner, Saturn Vue and Ford Escape. I did my research and went for test drives.

A special thanks to the Grandma's for watching the children while I shopped for a car!

Pontiac was amazing. They were super friendly and knowledgeable. I test drove it twice with two different salesmen and LOVED the car. Sadly, after pricing it out it was out of budget.

Saturn was horrific. Those of you who know me, know I know cars, and if I'm looking at something I've done my research. Well, I went with my mom and we got the most chauvinistic salesman in history! First he seemed a bit taken aback by my questions - gas mileage and horsepower. Then I asked to test drive. He wandered away for a while and came back and was insisting I pick a color car before I test drove one. My mom actually piped up and told him color didn't matter if I didn't like the car.

Reluctantly, he got keys and plates and brought a car around. Then he told me to get in and HE would adjust the seat for me!!! Before I got in I pushed the seat back all by myself and he kind of took the hint. Now in all of this he did not ask what I currently drive or any other normal questions.

The test drive itself was strange, he made me go over bumps - if he'd asked and knew I drove a Jeep would he have done something different?? Then when my mom asked what cars were comparable - seeing as we had just come from Pontiac - he went off on how great Saturn was, total Kool Aid drinker. The first intelligent question he asked was what other cars I was looking at. I told him and he got a bit quiet.

We get back and since he was in the car with us I didn't get to talk to my mom about what I was experiencing. He goes to put the keys and plates away. We checked out the '08 - big difference engine wise - the '07 has a Honda engine and the '08 has a GM engine - and while the front was nice, the back seat has a 90 degree angle and was totally uncomfortable. I also told my mom that I could feel every shift and while turning the car felt like it was tipping. And if I was to go with the '08, why not just get the Pontiac? He took so long another salesman asked if we needed help. When he finally reappeared I said thank you and good bye and he desperately asked for my name and info - he had forgotten my name already, hadn't even asked my mom's. I told him that wouldn't be necessary, I didn't like the car. He seemed shocked.

Mercury was a bit different. I went with my sister on this drive and we went to the dealership where my parents had bought their cars years ago. Their salesman is now general manager and was offering me a great deal. Except I didn't like the car. It drove great and handled great, but I couldn't get comfortable with the extras. But again, the first question again from the salesman was what color did I like - this time I told him I was more interested in horsepower and any color would do.

After much insistence on my husband's part we went to look at the Ford Escape. It's gas mileage on the V6 wasn't so hot, which is why I wasn't looking at it, so we test drove the 4-cylinder. Just 165 hp, way below the Pontiac's 265 hp. But it does accelerate well. It was very comfortable, and handled, well, just like the Mercury! We had both girls with us on this one and while talking to Rob, our salesman, my husband put our 2 year old in the cab of a truck and played with her there while I discussed options. It was the most expensive playpen I'd ever seen!!

So after all the research and test driving we decided on a car - the 2008 Ford Escape. We went back and set up a factory order with Rob later in the day, Grandma Mary watched the girls. He was surprised to see us back so soon, but quite happy since his 18-year old son got his girlfriend pregnant and Rob will be taking care of them while his son finishes school. I'm thinking about getting my own shot gun!!

No my child's not slow, she's tall!

2007-07-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know my daughter is the size of the average 3 year old, but she's not 3, she's 2. Actually not even 2 a week yet. She's a tad under 3 feet tall. She doesn't talk much, she isn't as coordinated as older kids, but for her age she is amazingly gifted - and that's not just her mom talking!

I'm getting pretty damn tired of people thinking she's slow cause she's big and then whispering about it. The last time this happened I actually said, She's not slow, she's 2! The looks change from pity to understanding and embarrassment. Ask me how old she is, ask me if she's delayed, JUST SAY SOMETHING TO ME instead of your looks.

But what's worse than parents is the older kids who are the same height as her that ignore her or bully her because she can't communicate their way and she's a bit slower running. Just what are these parents teaching their children, cause I know mine are being taught to appreciate EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT.

My husband and I actually worry that our daughter is so accepting she's going to get run over by even her peers - but then she reams us out for something and we're confident she can hold her own out there!

My Favorite Cleaners for Home and Body

2007-07-17T12:52:00.000-05:00

Last week I put in an inquiry to Alure to find out what they recommend to take crayon off their basement finishing system. I was very surprised and pleased to hear I could use my Clorox Cleanup on the walls. That is my favorite for cleaning bathrooms, kitchens, children's toys and booster seats. Heck, I used it to take out set in stains on my older daughter's white t-shirts!!

So that got me thinking about some of the other things I will not live without. First being the Kaboom toilet bowl cleaner that installs in the tank and keeps my white toilet sparkly clean. I hate washing toilet bowls so of course I tried it when the package said new and a year later I'm still an avid user.

I think the next thing would be my Venus razor shower rack that holds not only the razor but extra blades. When you are short on shower time and jump in without changing blades, which is something I often do, and find your underarm hair is braid-able and your blade dull you don't have to get your bathroom wet or slip on the tile to get a fresh blade and a clean shave!!

Now back to stained clothes. Oxy, of course, is great on fresh stains, but for those deep down, ground in ones, like when your husband leaves his pens and markers in his pockets and your limited supply of maternity clothes get washed and dried with it, SHOUT Gel works the best. And now they have a spray!! I keep one down by the laundry and one upstairs to squirt sauce stained baby clothes!!

A new favorite of mine is my diaper genie. Yes, refills are a bit pricey, but with soy formula diapers are toxic. So not only does the genie contain odors, but the bags do too, something I'm sure even the garbage men appreciate!!

And last but certainly not least is Method furniture polish. It's unique almond fragrance leaves the house smelling great and the formula takes sticky fingerprints off anything!!

No bars for Scooter

2007-07-03T09:57:00.000-05:00

Simply - anyone that old with the name Scooter should be locked up just on principle alone.

Down with Immigration

2007-07-03T09:49:00.000-05:00

The immigration bill was voted down. It seems a bit unfair all around. We need the immigrant workers, they need the money they make doing jobs no one else will do, but they're not good enough to become citizens. Let's see what makes more sense -

Trying to get 12 million people deported and while we try to figure that out they are not paying taxes or social security and using our hospitals and schools, sucking money out of tax paying Americans.

Making them citizens, saving a ton of money on multiple failed attempts to deport 12 million people (come on, think about Katrina), make them pay taxes and contribute to the society they are parasites in.

But maybe the issue is more simple than that - if there are 12 million more people eligible to vote in 2008, and they are the working class the republicans have been thumbing their noses at for 8 years maybe they voted the bill down cause they know where the 12 million votes will go. Just a thought.

Cars, cars and more cars

2007-06-13T12:25:00.000-05:00

So the lease on my Jeep Grand Cherokee is up the end of August and my husband is nagging me about car shopping. If it were reasonable I'd just turn my truck in for another one, but with the payments, HORRIBLE gas mileage and gas prices, we have to part ways.

My husband is pushing a crossover vehicle - particularly a Subaru. It's just not going to happen. First off, let me tell you what kinds of cars I like: the Dodge Charger, the Chrysler 300, the Pontiac Solstice. The problem is that I have two children in car seats and a budget! Then let me tell you I do not want a "momobile," aka a minivan. Now let me say this - a crossover vehicle is nothing new. When I was growing up they called them station wagons, aka "momobile." So no honey, I DO NOT LIKE CROSSOVER VEHICLES, I DO NOT LIKE THEM HUSBAND OF MINE! It took the man 6 years to remember I don't like iced tea, this is going to be fun.

Now of course there is an exception to the rule and as soon as I can get to a Pontiac dealer I will check out the Torrent, although the car is probably not as pretty as the picture.

That being said, I'm still looking for a small SUV or family sedan that can accommodate 2 car seats and a double stroller.

Addendum 6/27 **I have a new argument against the Subaru: Is there enough legroom for older kids in front-facing seats, or will they always be kicking the back of your seat? (One of our editors had this problem in the Subaru Forester, which is marketed as family-friendly.) from edmunds.com. Obviously it's an issue and we have a seat kicker already!!

Why are the Chinese out to kill us?

2007-06-02T06:35:00.000-05:00

It makes no sense. They literally own us and at any point could topple our economy. But instead they poison our pet food and toothpaste.

If the Chinese actually paid attention to us they'd realize how stupid that is. It's estimated by the APPMA that this year alone pet owners are slated to spend $40.8 billion on their pets. $16.1 billion of that is on food.

As for the toothpaste, they got that wrong too. They substituted a cheaper ingredient, diethylene glycol, which is a poison, for glycerin which is used thicken the toothpaste. While not as big of an industry as pet care, oral care is a booming $5-6 million dollar industry. That difference might have something to do with the fact you can whiten your teeth in a week for less than it costs to feed your dog for a month!

The worst part about the toothpaste is that the FDA was testing it since the chemical was seen on a label in Panama by a customer who notified authorities. Last month 100 people died from diethylene glycol being added to cold medicine in Latin America that was exported from China. It was NOT on the labels here. (NYT, NYT.com, 6/2/07)

At least we're not the only ones being bumped off by the Chinese. The toothpaste was also found in Australia, the Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Honduras and Nicaragua.

It's very strange that these two industries were "targeted." On any magazine, TV show, news cast anyone would realize we like our teeth white and our pets pampered. We'd best be careful, you never know what they can add to their liquor exports!

Brain Dead

2007-05-30T09:09:00.000-05:00

For my loyal followers - the whole two of you!

I have been quite lax in posting my superior insights. Simply, unless you want a critique of Clifford or Arthur or want me to read Curious George to you, I got nothing. I am so far sunk into baby world I can't put a cohesive thought together!

But don't give up on me, they'll grow up soon! Hopefully not that soon - aren't they precious?

It's time for the after baby diet :(

2007-04-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

The nice part of being pregnant is that you can have a belly!! Heck, they even design clothes around it. But once you make the tremendous effort of pushing the baby out - all 7lbs, 15 oz of mine - you are no longer entitled to a belly. Hence the diet plan.

With the first one it was easy. Breastfeeding burns an extra 500 calories a day. I lost 33 out of 38 pounds that way. Then my milk dried up, my family drove me insane and I ended up on Prozac and in the shrink's office for a few months. Just long enough to put back on 15 pounds. Just a few pounds shed into that diet - I think a whole month and a half of it - that I got pregnant again. So basically, I never really had to diet. I just fed the baby and went a little crazier than usual!

This time, with a 20 month old that literally climbs walls - OK maybe I exaggerate, but you're not with her all day, it really seems like it - not breastfeeding wasn't so much a choice, but a necessity. Let me tell you it's 10 times faster to put down a bottle than a boob in case of emergency. And let me be really honest, I wasn't planning to breastfeed for the baby's health so much this time, but more to take off quickly the 31 lbs I gained with this pregnancy. My fussy baby now has reflux, a condition that is helped by adding cereal to formula, fancy formulas and antacids. Much easier to do with a bottle :) So now I'm stuck taking off about 23 lbs, plus the extra 10 0r so leftover from the Prozac all by myself.

Now there's a lot I'm willing to give up to diet. Chocolate, chips etc. But I REFUSE to give up my ice cream - kill me first.** But the wonderful folks at Edy's made it so much easier for me!! Their slow churned half the fat line tastes as good, if not better than the real stuff!! So I can have my ice cream and eat it too!!

**I'm also not giving up beer and wine. I just did that for 9 months and now have two kids under two. If I was that crazy I'd be institutionalized!!!

Misc thoughts for the Month

2007-04-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

It's been a little hectic with our new addition around, but I do have some random thoughts to throw out there. Here goes:

Why don't subway and boston market have drive through's?? I have eaten McDonald's more this past month than in the past year going back and forth to the hospital for blood tests for the baby. I mean it's not like you can jump out of the car with an infant and toddler just for a sandwich - it's a whole project. But if there was a healthier drive through option I'm certain I could juggle turkey on whole wheat just as well as a cheeseburger and fries. And I wouldn't feel guilty about eating while driving!

And what is going on with American Idol?!?! I'd boycott if there was anything else on any channel, including all the premium channels we now get for free. And speaking of premium channels - if I wanted to watch 80's movies 24/7 I'd buy a time machine. Plus there's no reason for the same movie to be on three channels at the same time. There are that many channels in order to have variety. Late night TV now sucks - everything is an infomercial, even the major networks. What am I supposed to do during the 3am feedings???

Sigh, I'm sure there's more but mommy duty calls. Till next time...

Tired of Hillary.

2007-02-22T11:27:00.000-05:00

It's not her politics, it's her attitude. Hillary needs to understand she is not the be all and end all of the democratic party. This spiteful attitude towards Barack Obama is really disgusting. She's the last person that should be commenting on fundraising, much less alienating another party member. At this point she's lost my vote - heck she barely had it for the senate race.

And all this in party bickering. We have over a year until the next presidential election and I'm tired of hearing about it already. Give me another month and I'll be looking more closely at John Edwards despite the fact I don't have much faith in him. Even Al Gore could look good soon!

But I will come out and say it, I'm pretty much figuring on backing Obama. I like the way he thinks and the way he comes across. He's a bit young, but JFK was young too. He shouldn't play Hillary's game though, he's better than that.

HPV Vaccine - mandatory in Texas?!?!

2007-02-06T11:39:00.000-05:00

First let me say I am not against the vaccine. I would like to know more about it.

There have been too many issues about vaccines in the past couple years, be it the cause of increased autism or just the fact so many vaccines need boosters. I think it was a recent issue of Parents that reported that if you have kids under 2 you should get a dTap booster. And it wasn't it the newer version of the MMR - given to anyone born after '85 - that needed a booster too? We vaccinate against everything, but what are the side effects? Is that what is truly making our kids more sick? We keep them from so many basic germs that they get bigger badder ones.

And I think the right wing conservative abstinence people should be separating church and state with this issue. A vaccine will NOT make your kids have sex!! You give it to 12 year old's, you don't have to tell then it's for a sexually transmitted virus, just tell them it prevents cancer. I have no problem with white lies as long as the job gets done and no one is hurt.

Once again, it's the male species that are the carriers. They won't get a shot, or the virus, or cancer. They should be more responsible for keeping it covered or covering it up!! But alas, it's just one more burden for women.

I also have an issue with making a vaccine mandatory that cannot be afforded by the general population. It's a multi-shot deal, each shot over $100 a pop. So if I can't afford that, my child should get sick?? If the government wants to foot the bill, great. Until it's more affordable, as long as it's available and accessible, it shouldn't be mandatory. FIX HEALTH CARE FIRST!!

I think it's wonderful Texas is trying to save the lives of our little girls, but I believe they need to think it through a little more. But it is Texas, the same state of big oil, and our gag, gag, choke, vomit, esteemed president. See how much they know!

My venture into porn

2007-01-23T14:53:00.000-05:00

It was a simple thing really. I keep getting annoying phone calls from MCI about updating my credit card information. While I usually hang up since I don't have an account with MCI, when the call came through for the third time today I actually listened to it. But the number they provided went too fast for me to do anything with from the couch where I was resting.

So I went online to find the number. The MCI site sent me to Verizon. So I called Verizon. They gave me a number - 1-800-333-4444. I called. A recorded voice asked me if I was horny.

Real nice.

Writhing with embarrassment I call my husband for love and support. I then went back to my computer and through a different MCI site (another thing that just didn't make sense) got the correct number which is actually 1-800-444-3333!

I called MCI and they said they would deactivate my account. OK, didn't think I had one, but as long as the calls stopped they could do whatever made them happy!

I then called Verizon back to inform them of the mistake so no one would involuntarily be asked if they were horny again!

I called my husband back to let him know the outcome and told him the life of a SAHM was never dull!

Dirty books

2007-01-10T16:35:00.000-05:00

I love to read and over the past few weeks I've gotten some really good books at the library. I like to peruse the new release section, partly because it's more accessible than the stacks in my library, partly because with a little one in tow it's faster to skim.

Unfortunately I'm 3 for 3 trips on messed up books. First time a good chunk of the middle was coated in grease and crumbs, next same thing and this most recent trip the book smells like an ashtray. Now I'm an in bed reader so the crumbs really pissed me off. I don't put crumbs in my own bed, why do I want someone else’s there?? Plus it's a real b**** changing sheets on a king size when your as big as a house, why should someone else get to mess things up for me?!? As for the ashtray one, it's one of two I picked out yesterday, by my favorite author and I'll be damned if I have to get a different copy, so I'm suffering.

These are not some cheap paper backs, tucked away on a shelf somewhere in the back of the library, these are new $25-30 hardcover books, newly released and still on 2 week loan. If you want to use books as your personal playground buy them yourself. I wouldn't borrow a book from a friend and return it in the same condition - I'd replace it. That's just the decent thing to do. But 3 books in a section of 4- 3ft shelves is revolting. Or maybe it's just my luck - there were 3 copies of Angel's Fist on the shelf, I picked the crappy one.

Damn, I think I'm pissed off enough to complain to the library board. They raised our taxes again to add a new wing to the library, so if this is the respect the books get, they need to hear about it.

Donald Trump and Morals???

2007-01-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

It's all over the news that Rosie O'Donnell bashed the Donald and the Donald fought back. And it started over a drunk and high Miss Teen USA. Great big shock - a model on drugs! With role models like Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears and the lot what more should we expect. blah blah blah it's the same thing over and over.

But what wasn't so well broadcast is that while this spat was going on Trump's current building project in Greenwich Village hit a bump. Well not really a bump, but a historic grave site. Multiple bones dating from the 19th century were found.

This site was already controversial in that it would really ruin the feel of the Village and residents had been fighting for a long time. But little was done by NYC to escavate the site, or evaluate its historic value. At least that's what I'm assuming since construction was halted for a mere week while archeologists dug around. From experience we know it takes more than a week to fully work a site, even a small one. This one was covered with a parking lot already, so maybe there was something already done - which would have been nice to see reported. But maybe, and I'm thinking more likely, Trump's purse strings are nicely wrapped around someone and this matter was let slide.

In NY's recent history we've already had Robert Moses do what ever the hell he wanted, ruining communities and landmarks along the way, but at least he held himself with dignity and was trying to do the best for NY, however scewed his views were. Trump is out for himself and his empire - he doesn't try to hide it. My opinion is he is a nasty, nasty man who needs to be taken down quite a few notches. You don't even have to like Rosie to agree with that!

Warning labels on clothing?!?!?

2006-12-27T11:42:00.000-05:00

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20935305-1702,00.html

Yes, it's a report from the UK and we had a war for independance because the British were overbearing, but this is taking controlling too far!

Synopisis is that doctors are talking about a warning printed on plus sized clothing labels to advise women about the health risks of obesity and a number to call for help.

Personally, F**k you. If anyone would cut regular clothes to fit broader shoulders and bigger chests and hips - yes, women have hips - people like myself would not have to wear "women's" sizes. I can go into any store and find a top that is long enough for my 5'10" frame, usually long enough in the sleeve, but god forbid it's not snug across the shoulders and chest. I tend to wear a size bigger, which makes me look heavier, so I don't pop out of clothes. I prefer to wear pants that have enough room in the hips so I don't suffocate when I sit down. All this adds up to a women's size.

Now one baby and one due later, it's just going to get harder. Before, I had gotten my weight down to wear "normal" clothes, but it took a lot of effort, excercise and not really having time for anything else while going to school full time, working 30+ hours a week and running a house. Post pregnancy, let me tell you everything stretches!! And a nap is usually more on par than sit ups! And a two hour nap for the baby is a good time to take a shower, check e-mail and bitch on a blog!

And why discriminate, which is what they're doing. Why not put the same labels on the size 0's and 2's since anorexia and bulemia are at an all time high? Is this not the reason runway models have to be bigger? So they're no longer starving themselves and popping pills to fit an image?

So while a bunch of idiot men are once again trying to tell me what to do with my body I'm telling them mind your own business. Women have enough to deal with without you all putting more pressure to fit into a standard that's killing women every day. And stop assuming a little diet and exercise will fix the issue. Sometimes you are just who you are - perfect in every way.

Husbands...

2006-12-24T16:12:00.001-05:00

Just one thing - who on earth puts an ice cream cake the refrigerator???

***********************************************************

Sigh, I had to come back and comment that my husband is a very loving thoughtful man, just a bit absent minded. While he confused the freezer and fridge, he remembered I love cards and found perfect ones that made me cry. And he got me a better camera than the one I was looking at and wouldn't ask for since I thought it was too much.

Anyway, the grocery store was out of cakes - of course I had to replace it!! - so I had to go to Carvel and somehow ended up with flying saucers as well. :)

And of course there is his mom who always remembers I love cannoli and bought me some at the good Italian bakery. :) :)

Yes, there's no one more satisfied than a well-loved, well-fed pregnant woman!!!

And the doctor said...

2006-12-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

It's one thing when ignorant people make stupid comments to pregnant women, but it's another when a doctor puts a foot in her mouth.

Throughout my first pregnancy I had a lot of people ask if I was having twins. I shrugged it off figuring the clientele at Home Depot didn't have sensors for these things and that my apron made me look bigger.

Today I took the little one to the doctor and since I was there I figured I should ask about what the procedure was to have them inspect the new one at the hospital. She commented that since I had about a month left... I must have given her a look at that point because she paused and asked when I was due. Her jaw literally dropped when I said march 26. I reassured her that I had quite a few comments about my size when carrying the first one. She said so did she and she had gained 65 pounds. Foot in mouth again since I've gained 14 to date and it's all in the belly! Besides I only gained 38 with the first and that was with a month of semi bed rest and swelling from pre-eclampsia.

But she's sweet and Charlee loves her, which with doctors one cannot complain.

Gas Prices on the rise.

2006-12-11T12:26:00.000-05:00

I find it interesting the lack of commentary on the steady increase of gas prices since the drastic drop before the mid-term elections. By me there has been an average increase of $.35 per gallon in the past month.

So was the decrease only political or is there a good reason for the drop and subsequent increase?

It's hard to say since the price of gas has been overcome with the holiday spirit. I can find out what gifts to buy and what to cook, but why I'm spending an extra 5.95 a week on gas isn't important. Or maybe the fact that gas is still under $2.50 makes things ok. Let me remind you IT'S NOT!

Christmas a bit early?

2006-12-06T13:52:00.000-05:00

Christmas has been in stores since Halloween, but when is it too early at home?

I don't know if this irks anyone else, but I really don't need Christmas cards for Thanksgiving. It's WAY to early. I have a turkey to cook, I'm not worried about holiday decor. So where am I putting a card I get that early? And wherever it ends up am I really going to find it again??

On the other hand, mine went out today. We got them Saturday and the fact they had to be stuffed, addressed, stamped and mailed was hanging over my head, so I handled it and now the pressure can be passed on to everyone else. Plus everyone can bask in the beauty that is my daughter for that much longer.

The house is decorated, inside and out, pressure my husband felt when the neighbors had decorated before him. And I had to hold him back from buying more lights to compete with our new neighbors across the street. We have 60 ft more lights this year, to go with the new tree he planted out front. But we had them in the house. We just needed a replacement set of icicle lights and some replacement extension cords. Since we decorated a week later than everyone else it took a few stops to find this stuff. But now with the outside done and the 13ft tree in our living room we're decked out.

Present wise, we're, no, I'm doing quite well. Almost all the shopping is done and I only went to one store - thank goodness for e-commerce and free shipping!! I'm holding off on wrapping everything since both the baby and the cat like hiding under the tree and I have no where to tuck wrapped presents!!

And all this by December 6th. I totally suck. This is against EVERYTHING I believe in holiday decorating and shopping. I think the best year I had was getting our tree 2 weeks before Christmas and shopping the 23rd. Of course I spent about 1/3 less this year on more thoughtful and useful gifts and we now have an artificial tree - another not so happy investment despite the fact next year it will have covered the expense of a live one every year, and I don't have to worry about the little one eating pine needles or cleaning them up!

Oh, well, you can't have everything!!

Bad traffic or just bad drivers?

2006-12-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

It always amazes me that when you cross the border between counties here on Long Island the entire traffic pattern changes. Some will say that as you head west it's the way the exits are situated, others the narrowing of lanes. My theory is that it's not the roads but the drivers.

When driving on the Southern State Parkway, no matter the time of day, you come to a complete stop at exit 22 and are in stop and go traffic to exit 18. I don't think the traffic alert sign ever changes. There is no visable reason for this phenomenon. There are not a lot of people merging on and off, no more cars at exits 23 or 17, so what's the deal?

But it's not just the Southern State, it's the LIE as well. It's like there is an invisable line that makes drivers worse once you cross the county border. Traffic not only eases up, but there are less drivers weaving in and out of lanes and less tailgaiting, hence less brake lights. Heading east, towards home for me, when you see the Suffolk County sign it's like breathing a sigh of relief.

I must be clear I am not knocking Nassau County drivers, although they are the reason I won't move across the border. When heading into Brooklyn once you hit the Belt Parkway all you can do is pray. The Cross Island, on your knees to pray. Even my beloved LIE goes from heaven to hell - the HOV lane even stops working! Why do people slow down because someone to the right of them is slowing down. It negates the concept of the left lane moving faster!!

I should clarify, I have not ever driven past Nassau County, though after 12 years of being driven on the Belt I think I could handle it; if I knew there was liquor on the other end in vast quantities. And some of my issues could be the way my husband drives - just like everyone else. It's like the line gets him too. Maybe it's something in the water - he did grow up in Brooklyn. While he doesn't speak Brooklynese, he certainly drives it.

And let's not even get me into city drivers. I hate being in a car in Manhatten. I would walk across that island first. We went in to visit my mother-in-law a few weeks ago and my body was so tense I swear I almost started contractions without the baby's help. Why don't they understand lanes. You know the dashed lines you are supposed to stay in between, not over!

And while you may think I just disproved my whole arguement, we have not discussed what happens to traffic in Suffolk County when summer hits and all the city folk drive out to Montauk Point and the Hamptons. It's the Sunrise Highway that is affected the worst. That nasty city traffic pattern oozes it's way over the border while the LIE stays pretty much the same. Hence my idea that it's the driver, not the traffic.

I must also note that in an article published by Time Magazine (December 4, 2006, "Mini-Pimp is Mad,") a study from Colorado State University says that when a person names his or her car or gives it a gender they are more prone to road rage - so watch out for those personalized plates!!

What babies can sleep through

2006-12-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

First I must say my daughter is a really good sleeper. She sleeps 11-12 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day. She moves non-stop while she's awake, but she does sleep well and so do I!

It's really strange what she can sleep through and what she can't. For instance, I cannot dust in my bedroom which is across the hall, or put laundry away with out her waking up. Neither of these things are very loud, I think the creaking in the hall is louder than a dust rag.

But on the other hand, yesterday she slept through an hour and a half of me steam cleaning the living and dining room carpets. And then continued to sleep for another hour and a half!! Today I am making some cookies, she slept right through the handmixer. She also slept through her dad stopping in for something he forgot. But I can't dust my bedroom.

It's all rather perplexing, but I guess that's not any different than any other thing a baby does!

The importance of gadgets

2006-11-22T17:10:00.000-05:00

I was laughing the other day about a pancake batter pourer that drops the batter in perfect circles for the perfect pancake. Sounds like a waste of space and dishwashing liquid to me. Let me tell you if there's a gadget I may need, I do have it. Or it's on my Christmas list - thanks mom! For example, I have a standard cheese grater - the basic 4-sided generic kind. But I also have a hand held fine grater, which is great for fresh-grated Parmesan cheese, a microplane zester and a microplane chocolate grater. Luckily these don't take up as much space as some other gadgets like my waffle iron and pizzelle maker.

Aside from a pancake batter pourer, I don't think an ice cream maker is necessary - Ben and jerry and edy's work very well for me, especially when the stores have it 2 for $5. A paninni maker - how often are you really going to use that?!?! I also have not stooped so far as my father to get a pineapple corer, though I think with the amount of fresh fruit my daughter eats it will soon be on the list!

I think my favorite "why do you need that?" gadget, that everyone who has seen me use it gets, is my salad spinner. My parents have used one for as long as I can remember. I introduced it to my husband, who lives on salad, cereal and oreos, early in our relationship. He too thought I was crazy (still does, but for other reasons), but after having compared wet salad to dry salad he is an addict. We now have an electric one that spins out water in 1/3 the time a hand pumped one does (it also slices and grates any other salad toppings).

But gadgets are not just about the kitchen. I think this year's best buy is the Black and Decker Leaf Hog - blower and vacuum. I petitioned for one last year and was scoffed at pretty much the same way I was with the circular saw and sawsall - both of which are now essential household tools. This thing blows the leaves into a pile and with a quick hose change sucks them up and mulches them. He did the entire 1/4 acre in a few hours and with about 3/4 fewer bags. I think the garbage men will be happier this year too! I totally earned the I told you so rights with this purchase!!

So hurray to all the inventors out there. Keep up the good work and I'll keep adding to my collection!

Some more controversial beliefs

2006-11-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

I have to follow up on my last post with some other views that probably don't fit into the liberal ideal.

The first big one is legalizing drugs. This is another big debate between my husband and I. My opinion is that it would be a great way to increase tax revenue. The trickle down effect would be that we could clean up inner cities and help end gang violence. If they're not running drugs, they can get educated. And bored rich people could actually contribute to society for once with such taxes. And with out the need to arrest drug dealers and users we could save quite a bit of money in the police forces. It's not like DARE has worked that well anyway.

My husband is more concerned with what society would do. He asked how I would like going shopping with the kids with people high on heroin. I asked what would be so different? There's a reason so many people in the surrounding neighborhoods are missing teeth - and I don't think it's poor dental hygiene!

The other big one is the right to die - something we do agree on. It's a very personal decision. I can't say however, that I think suicide should be legal. It's a very fine line, I know. The difference between wanting to die now instead of in 6 months and saving yourself pain and suffering, and buying millions of dollars in life insurance and killing yourself for money is huge. The latter is so not okay. That is a very moral, judgmental opinion, some would say along the lines of the abortion issue. It could almost be seen as hypocritical for someone like myself who is pro choice. Except that I have my own issues with abortion, and believe it's the right of choice overall that is the issue, not what the choice is - same with the right to die.

I also believe deaths in right to die cases should be overseen by doctors in a hospital. See, very fine line. I don't think there is anyway to make policy on this without offending one group or another, but if a death under doctor's care happens and isn't crazy suspicious, then why push the issue? Why question a death that was inevitable?

Put to death?

2006-11-19T09:11:00.000-05:00

I was discussing with my husband last night how hard it is to have a debate with someone who agrees with you on most issues. It's also hard to debate when you don't let the other person talk, but that's another topic altogether! His response was that we don't agree on everything, and while he calls me a flaming liberal, he's a Regan Democrat, the issue we most disagree on is the death penalty. I'm all for it, he's against it.

Yes, you heard me right, I totally agree that there should be a death penalty. I think prisoners should have to work their butts off instead of getting a better education than law abiding citizens. I think chain gangs should be brought back. On a bad day I may even tell you an eye for an eye works too. Castration for rapists - let's do it.

Yeah, yeah, I know so many people are incarcerated wrongly and you can't take back death, and jails are meant to reform. Blah, blah blah.

Look, just because I think you should die for your crime doesn't mean you shouldn't have a fair trial. One fair trial. I think the death penalty would be more accepted if the justice system actually worked. Twelve appeals later who really knows the truth anymore.

But as to what would make the system better, I'll have to gt back to you on that. Any other comment at this time would be off the cuff and uneducated deductions. Hmmm....maybe a law degree is in my future.

Some aspirin with that?

2006-11-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

I gave my poor husband a headache last night yelling at the news while they were reporting on the morning after pill going from being available only by prescription to available over-the-counter for people 18 and older.

I'm not sure I think it's a good idea something like this should be so easily available; there's a reason most birth control is by prescription. I just have a problem with pharmacists refusing to fill prescriptions based on their own moral and religious ideas. Like doctors, it is not their place to judge, especially in national chain pharmacies. And it's total crap that they refer women to other pharmacies that will fill the prescription. Not everyone uses this because they forgot contraception in the heat of the moment. Only about half the rapes in the US are reported and even less are treated. What if that's the person the pharmacist is turning away? Think about what it took to get the prescription in the first place.

But that's not part of the discussion. It rarely is when it comes to pro-life fanatics. And just for the record pro-choice doesn't mean pro-abortion; it just means freedom.

The big issue is what if someone under 18 uses the morning after pill? An on the street reporter was speaking to a man who deemed himself a conservative and was saying that it wouldn't be hard for a 14-year old to ask an 18-year old to go purchase the drug for her. No, it's not. Just as it's not hard to find an 18 year old to buy cigarettes or a 21 year old to buy beer. Heck, it just might be her 18-year old boyfriend buying it for her - isn't that a pretty picture. Basically, if a young teen is decides to do something they're going to do it, be it sex, drugs or rock and roll. I'm praying for rock and roll.

What would I do as a parent - ask me in another 14 years. I would hope to handle the situation well, and before it could arise. What I do know that that discussion, pre or post, would be a bigger headache for my husband than me yelling at the TV ever will be.

Earmark some for me!!

2006-11-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

Just a couple weeks ago I was on a parenting discussion board arguing against tax rebates for stay-at-home moms. The argument was that working parents get money back for child care expenses, so why shouldn't a sahm get some credit too. My take, the "flaming liberal" (thanks Carl) that I am, is that since I don't financially contribute to the country, so I don't see how giving me money back that I didn't give in the first place makes sense. If someone wants to spend some money use it for school programs for all the children to benefit, maybe some before and after school programs to help unburden those parents that have no choice but to have 2 incomes. I found a lot of mom's rather selfish in their desire for a rebate, citing penny pinching and doing without.

Then I watched 60 minutes report on earmarks. Billions of dollars going to waste just because. I could go into the bridge to no where in Alaska, but what hit me most was the congressman from the Bronx defending his earmark for money to revamp a restaurant because it was a neighborhood treasure. His take is that he represents the poorest district in the richest city in the world and he needs to get as much for his constituents as he can. Now how does a restaurant help them??

So now I figure if we're going to have fancy bridges and restaurants to go to why not give all families an extra tax credit. We are all working hard on creating the future generations, why shouldn't we get some money to go out and have some fun? Earmark some for me!!

Just to note, not all earmarks are frivolous and a lot of good comes from them. We just need to take control of the reins. Hey, maybe a woman president would be a good idea - be sure she's a stay-at-home mom on a budget!

An Extreme Takeover

2006-11-09T09:24:00.000-05:00

All I'm going to say is congratulations to the Democrats and to America.

Why Mommy is a Democrat

2006-11-07T08:07:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Google I found this book and just ordered one! This will be a quality bedtime story for years to come!!

http://littledemocrats.net/samples.html

JUST VOTE

2006-11-06T08:42:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is election day. The media all weekend was saying the Democrats will clinch both houses. It's going to be cold and rainy, so why go out then? This election is locked.

Except it's not. These predictions are based on the idea that the usual 35-40% of Americans able to vote will get out and do it. How sad is that? Statistics say the best voter turnout in years - 60% - was the last presidential election. What's more pathetic than Americans not taking the 5 minutes or so it takes to actually vote, over a matter of the 15 hours that the polls are open, is that countries like IRAN have better voter turnout on a regular basis.

I think the shame of not voting lays most with the 18-25 year olds. This group will have to live with the repercussions of each election longer than anyone. Without voting they give up the right to say what they want from their country. Gas prices and college tuition too high - voting makes a big difference. What if a draft was implemented, at 18 they're eligible. As an adult and parent I know that I have to vote for the next 18-20 years to be sure my kids are safe and educated and healthy. But at that point they'll know what they want and it's out of my hands.

But I certainly don't blame parents for the lack of voter enthusiasm. Heck, I would have voted at 13 if I was able, casting my ballot for Michael Dukakis. It's a sad thing to me that I was 5 months too young to vote for Bill Clinton the first time. But my sister, well she was a little older when she finally figured out that one vote can negate another. She went to the polls for the first time with a friend who was voting republican. Every vote really does count.

And something else voters haven't figured out is that you can't elect someone for just one issue. My biggest voting pet peeve are people who vote for candidates based on single issues. Like when they vote against abortion and gay marriage rights but don't consider they are also voting down environmental rights, funding for schools and hospitals and now-a-days their civil liberties. Save a baby now, but kill them all in 50 years when the world explodes from pollution. We have to balance our wants with the entire country's needs; that's what will make us united once again.

What it comes down to is that it doesn't matter who you decide to vote for, just that you do. Everyone has their own beliefs political, personal and religious and that's what makes our country so special. Americans have died for centuries for this simple right, and are dying now so that others will have the same right. What better way to honor those sacrifices than by using the very gift they have given us?

Does Kerry deserve a break?

2006-11-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

It may surprise those of you who know me as a die hard democrat that I was not pleased with the choice of John Kerry for president last election. He didn't get my vote in the primaries (neither did John Edwards, coincidentally) and his overall performance during the campaign was sloppy at best. But his latest faux pas was just plain stupid. If you can't mock your opponent well, shut up.

So while democrats are saying oops he made a mistake and republicans are saying he's slandering the troops, I just want to say that if this new pair of balls had grown a few years ago when it mattered maybe the situation would be different. So instead of making a bad situation worse, DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. Maybe we could actually fund the No Child Left Behind program - just a thought.

And a special note to the media enterprises continuing the coverage - isn't there something better to talk about? Maybe we could find out who really fathered Anna Nicole's baby, since that's just about as important.

A Paper Free World?

2006-10-31T08:19:00.000-05:00

The New York Times posted an article yesterday that circulation in many major US newspapers was down significantly. I read it online!

While I found this out from myyahoo.com RSS feed, my print journalist husband is sure to read it in the paper! I swear I make him cry with my aversion to papers! I have it set up to read the top 10 headlines from Long Island Business News, Newsday, NYT, Associated Press, AP Strange news (don't knock it, Oklahoma is the last state to make tatooing legal - did you know that?!?!) and of course the Target ads, which is more than I could get to if I picked one source.

Here's my other thing - newspaper print is disgusting. It's dirty and it smells bad. By reading the news on the web I can keep my fingers clean so I can easily pop the hair clip that my daughter pulled from her hair out of her mouth. Need a diaper change - a squirt of Purell instead of the full handwash necesary when holding a paper saves time and natural resources! Not to mention what a pain it would be to nag my husband to take out paper recycling with as much garbage as getting the daily paper would create. Let me tell you the weekend editions pile up fast enough! And he'll tell you how well I nag!

I think what I miss out most on is the arts and leisure, but hey if I had leisure time I could go online to find movie reviews and book reviews. Although I think just looking them up would deplete all my leisure time!! I think the last thng I learned from a leisure section was that brown and red hair dye is now more popular than blonde thanks to stars like Eva Longoria and Marcia Cross. That impacted my life tremendously - I'm saving money by going natural instead of being blonde. But hey, I'm making up for it 10 fold with formula and diapers! I'm simply happy to wash and brush my hair now-a-days!

Hillary for Senate

2006-10-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

This has been bugging me for over a week now. I actually took the time to watch the senate debate between Hillary Clinton and John Spencer. Now while he's not going to get my vote, never was a thought really, I'm not feeling very warm towards Senator Clinton. (not very cool when he called her Mrs. Clinton - show some respect man!)

Simply put, I did not get the feeling she was gung ho about another term as senator. Why tell people not to vote for her if they thought she might run for president - most people do! Overall her arguements were weak and lacking the passion and resolve I had come to expect from her. I could have the wrong Clinton in mind though.

Funny that Spencer got a little threatened by her. A million dollars in plastic surgery, come on. She does look different, maybe lighter and rested, for sure some botox or the like, but surgery - he needs to watch extreme makeover and get a clue.

As for Hillary for President, lackluster debate aside, 2008 is not the election to play with. I don't have confidence she would win or that she should. Personally, I'd like to vote again for someone, not against someone. I just don't think that vote should be Clinton again. Obama, well that's another day!

Welcome

2006-10-30T13:11:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my latest adventure. It seems to me that being home all day with a baby and talking back to the paper or TV just isn't satisfying!

What you'll find on this blog are random thoughts about news, politics, parenting issues, general gripes and after the next one is born in March, probably some PMS rants too.

I hope you enjoy my thought process and comment back as much as you want.