Post Surgery Wellness

So about a month after my full confession to you things started getting strange again for me. I was still taking the antidepressants that had literally held me together for 10 months, but I was starting to sleep again. OK, I was sleeping like Rip Van Winkle for a couple months. Life was feeling good again, I was catching up on all the things I had neglected over the year, and I was happy.

Then some very strange things started happening. I was slurring words, my walk was unsteady, things of that nature. It was mild at first, so I didn't think anything of it, again it was a rough year, this was nothing.

Then one day I was speaking to a friend on the phone and she asked if I was OK, I sounded like I was drunk. No, I wasn't feeling well, I felt like I was slurring, but thought it was just in my own head, which had been in slow motion for days. So I started paying attention. I took my meds as usual when I woke up and the sluggish feeling and slurring started again, that by noon it was obvious something was up. I had a good night's sleep, no other illness, and just took the antidepressants that morning. I called my friend who confirmed I sounded as bad as the day before. Then I called the doctor.

I NEVER call the doctor. I google things, I complain, I'll make an appointment, but NEVER call for immediate help. That's how bad things were going. Let me tell you I adore my doctor. Through the year she has not judged, she listens and supported my commentary and trials of natural products. She said to cut my meds in half, the nature of the drug would lead to withdrawal and I would see her Tuesday (we hit a weekend).

So the next day, Friday, I cut the pill in half and hoped for the best. Not good news, I was as bad as the day before on full strength. And the dose I was on was the minimum, so we're not talking a lot of a drug.

The next morning I conferred with my husband and despite the possibility of withdrawal problems, decided not to take the meds at all. We both figured worse case I took it a few hours late.

I went out with my step-mother-in-law, with the kids, giving her a heads up as to what was going on. By the end of the day, with two tired, super-cranky kids, I was doing fine.

Day 3 off the meds I saw the doctor. All was well, my blood pressure was the lowest it had been in years, everything else was normal. I got a flu shot.

In the next few weeks the irritability that came with the anxiety and depression got bad, I went to the vitamin shop and got some Kava Kava, took for a week and on and off since then, eliminating the need for xanex during the day.

So now I'm anti-depressant free for 3 months, fully functioning with an occasional case of PMS. But I am still left wondering what if I hadn't trusted myself and everything leading up to and including the surgery hadn't happened?